Let Go II: Ties That Bind

foto of Watches from MINE OBJECTS series

Speaking of letting go, my father, Berthan Macaulay QC, died a little over 3 years ago and it has been difficult to decide what to do with all his clothes and shoes.  When it happened, I think I lost my mind for a solid year, simply not knowing how to process it - except to deny, to focus outwardly, race against time and ahead of ambition, be an emotional support for my mother, and stop sleeping...literally. But in so doing I went to sleep psychically and spiritually for the past two - withdrawing from ... well ... everything, and really only by mid-last year (09’) did I finally wake the hell up to a new world feeling like an orphan. 

It's SO important, where possible, to create and journal when you’ve experienced any loss or dramatic change in your life - SO important.  Many layers of the 'self' are fighting to either be featured or buried on a daily basis.  I think the only way that my grief and resulting changes have manifested is through my photographic work. But finally I'm starting to speak up too, and interestingly that has softened my sight  (or in photog talk - POV) quite a bit.

After all this time, my mother and I reached an emotional and spiritual agreement to unpack, sort, and donate my fathers things to the survivors of Haiti’s earthquake. We felt this was right.  He always loved Haiti, was concerned about their future, and admired their historical achievement as the 2nd independent country in the West, in 1804 [ the  US was the first in 1776) - and for being one of the few nations in the diaspora to openly, boldly, and defiantly maintain their African heritage in the West, despite being  exploited, misunderstood, unsupported, and segregated.  

 

Berthan Macaulay QC

from MINE OBJECTS

I've been shooting a collection of personal stuff, including some of my father's things as part of a photo series, MINE OBJECTS, that I started a year ago. Here's a few, along with ones taken in the last days.
 

also from MINE OBJECTS

 

from just packing up and letting go: 

 

 

Related Journey Posts: The Ongoing Attempt, Sept 2007

                       Let Go: While Haiti Cries, We Must Try

Check out this great NEW YORK TIMES Opinion ARTICLE for a quick historical overview:

To Heal Haiti, Look to History, Not Nature by Mark Danner