Pride and The New Norm: Equal Rights

I grew up IN JAMAICA in an African/British influenced household run by two lawyers; one, an atheist and the other, a practicing Catholic. We had a constant influx of visitors from around the world, many of whom hosted us in their homes when we traveled.  Among our guests were committed gay couples who are together to this day. 

Because of how my parents socialized me - it frankly never occurred to me that there was anything different or untoward about "Auntie and Auntie" or "Uncle and Uncle" compared with "Auntie and Uncle".
(Note: In my culture - out of respect we address our elders as "Auntie" and "Uncle"  even when they are not blood relatives.) 
They were our family of friends and THAT was THAT.

In all the years that followed when living out in the World and encountering other view points - I was constantly shocked that anyone saw my Aunties and Uncles any differently because they were gay.  Being a total ham and hag - I amassed my own gay friends, and many, and frankly felt no need to explain this to the few confused objectors in my life - except to point out that their philosophy of love was flawed if they missed the beauty of a soul based on righteous principle. 

Without realizing that I had inherited a wide emotional girth of activism from my parents, this issue almost immediately spilled onto the pages of the first college papers I wrote with indignant vehemence. (Along with issues of global acceptance of multiculturalism and the legalization of weed.)  I argued that couples in the #LGBTIQ community had the right not only to marry, but to adopt children.  I smile at this now, as adoption was at issue for gay couples in the late 90s; just this year I attended the baptism of two beautiful natural children of a gay friend…just to illustrate our growth since then. 

Every #pridemarch I've gone to in different cities, or to conferences I've been lucky enough to attend, I strongly believed of course in the fight for #equalrights and supported it with a clear heart, but I must admit that I wondered how this would work in a World so bent on the isms and religions which pronounce what is right or wrong.  In the last year especially, I confess to an unusual phase of quiet that came over me from the numbing shocking wave of fear-induced violence and hate in every sphere across this globe.  And no doubt there is a lot of work still to be done. But I am sucker for reinforcements.  We all are.  I weep ecstatically that I am now old enough to speak like my parents have in saying -
"I never thought I would live to see the day that the World could shift this significantly while I am energetic enough to participate in the new norm." 

The New Norm. 

The fact that THIS in ways unseen opens further rights and protections to the full extent of the law for people, for families... is what was at stake here!! Families!! The  fact that this shall become so ordinary a truth and way of life that the Labels we separate each other and ourselves with can, must, and will fall away. That our differences will only be details of delightful interest to be celebrated.

Yes.

WE are on our way.
On our way back.
To the beginning.
To ourselves.

I congratulate and celebrate EVERY HUMAN BEING. 
What we see evidenced before us, WE can manifest again and again if we just reMember to Love.

#LOVEWINS along with mutual #RESPECT.

#enlightmentisabigbang #offwego  #tippingpoint #criticalmass #letskeepthisgoing #loverevolution #theonlyway
#excusemewhileIlightmyspliff

The Journey Foreseen...

How's this for a send off?!  

After a 3 week run of intense activity of moving out of my apartment (what a job THAT was!), AND prepping for shows, I've had to switch gears immediately into prepping for travel.  I was running around today doing last bits before heading to the airport, which included of course a completion of a creative jaunt... I had to document images of a wheat paste session I did on a side street with my buds last night.

I still had to turn in my cable box and close out my account. Yup...just a couple hours before leaving the country.  I was online at Time Warner on 96th + Broadway with a ticket number that was sure to take at least 30 minutes to come up on the screen.  I took a chance by jumping on a bus heading over to the East side - the opposite side of town - to the little side street where we pasted up our prints.  

While rushing to archive our handy wheatpasting work,  I thought, "maybe I should catch a cab back across  on the main avenue to save on time or I may not make it...".  Within moments of this boggle, this man walks by...looking at me casually yet quite intently.  

As he passed in front of my camera he asked,  "Do you need a cab?" and gestures towards his yellow. I immediately said yes and acknowledged internally the fortuitous timing and his seeming ability to read my mind!   

Now understand people - this NEVER happens in New York city. Not with yellow cabs at least.  Maybe Livery cabs (the black town cars that recently turned that god aweful lime green) once in a while, but not yellows.

Anyway, he was double parked so we had to jet. 

It was a completely silent and peaceful ride to the other side of town. 

As I was getting out he calmly turned to the back and a pro po of nothing he said, 
"You are being watched closely right now....by your grandmother... Yes," he paused to confirm, "... not by your uncles or your cousin who are helping you, but by your grandmother.  You are on the right path. It's not going to be easy, but it will be good.  Very good work. You will be fine, and you will do just fine."

Needless to say I sat there shocked, my jaw dropped...just staring at him...blinking blankly. He was looking at me calmly chewing at his toothpick with a knowing smile only detectable in his eyes.  I began to say "If you knew the momen...", and he cut me off saying, "I know the moment. It is a very good and meaningful moment. You will be fine African daughter."

I balked again but quickly composed myself to ask his name.  "Malik from Mali" he said. "Berette from Sierra Leone" I said, "and thank you Malik for that." We took each other's hand, we smiled, locked one more momentary gaze and then off I went. 

I ran across the street into the Time Warner praying I didn't just screw myself with the timing.  The counter was at #233 and my number was #234.

I went up to the counter ready to pay my final bill, and was told, "You never cashed in on our promotion before canceling your account, so we owe you money.  The credit will be sent in the mail."

What?!! lol

And...when I got to the airport just now, the seeming major issue I had with Air Berlin and their baggage handling fee that I'd griped about just days before on was all cleared up without a hitch.  And I found a new hippie friend from behind the counter to boot!

Wow. That's what you call Bon Voyage Bless Ups - wouldn't you say?!

Floored.  Grateful.  Smiling. Ready.

The Scary Business of New Beginnings...

They say you should do something that scares you everyday… Well, check!!

Moving they say is among the top traumas a person can experience, and prior to a couple weeks ago - this whole business of moving out and giving up everything I own was a great conversation piece that inspired only release and celebration...and zero fear.  Then suddenly one day recently, that all changed.  Everyday since has been an exercise in recalling the meditative and spiritual work of this year - and remembering to breathe.  The challenging asanas I've pushed myself in yoga all year to do, I call on now as practice in the asana of release.  Funny that I find myself clinging so tightly now just as I'm about to let go. 

I heard Rev. Bacon say in an interview with Oprah last week that change is like the tumult in a plane.  Pilots explain that when the craft is about to break through the sound barrier the cockpit shakes the most and the body of the craft is at its most unstable.  I love this.  Kind of like the constricting  trauma of the birth canal before air and light; but this new analogy is serving me right now. I'm breaking through the sound barrier - my apartment is the cockpit, and I'm wanting to grip for security before releasing to the cruising altitude on the other side.   Deep and interesting process to observe on a daily basis.  

I'm now at the 2 week mark and I FEEL my body poised and sharply focused on the task at hand.  There is not a single moment for renegotiation left.  It's do or bust. And I'm doing this most involved work WHILE preparing for immediate travel and 3 exhibitions!  Of course.  Hahaha.  But stoop sales are the biggest 'DO' right now and I don't particularly enjoy them because I feel like I'm in a fish bowl brandishing my panties for the world to stare at!  That said - I've been ushered prior into this process by the presence of friends and family so I could get my feet wet.


But unlike those other days where we've had mini impromptu stoop parties, today I had my first solo stoop sale and it was not only a real physical work out, but a true test of breathing away the histrionics, overcoming the fears and getting necessary work done.  I set this all in motion when I decided to release my life here in New York,  and so I have to go through these logistics - which are hardly as romantic as the reasons or the stories behind them. 
       
So...I didn't have the hand holding today that  my little heart yearned for, but such conditions yield deep spiritual truths about where to hold energy and how to stand in an exposed vulnerable space with your center in tact.  It's not easy watching people assess the worth of your belongings...that for you  are so rich with sentimental value.  But with each breath, I experienced the liberty that this entire move is ushering me towards.  And added to that, I was called and visited by sweet souls all day who delivered gems of deep encouragement for this soul work.  Even the guys in the clothing store across the street watched my stuff for me when I had to walk away or show someone my stuff for sale inside the apartment. It's remarkable how sweetly held I was by strangers and new neighbours and passersby who questioned and then celebrated my reasons for my move. It emboldened my sense of courage to continue, to sit in my fish bowl and get about the business of releasing my things, my emotional attachments, my fears, my ego...

These moments are the practice for when I am untethered and on my way to Sierra Leone at the end of the year.   This is the TRUTH right here.  Wow.  Yemaya. 

Humbled • Scared •  Determined • Grateful. 

The Ruling Valve

Performer: Crimson Heart Replica 

Does the wounded part of your heart direct your life, or do the wishes of the soft untarnished part race to create your experiences? People say life is short.  But I say life is long.  Think of how many memories you have, how many people you've met, how many disappointments you've moved past, how many surprises have tickled your outlook?  And just think how many more of those are ahead.  Every aspect of life, major or minor, in every place you have lived, every job you've had, every failing or successful result from any effort, every person - asshole or angel, stranger, family member, or friend, has shaped and reshaped your choices for your life,  the lessons you've learned, and how you feel about yourself and others...in short your identity...your heart.  

Our hearts get molded and recolored over and over again, but over the course of this long LONG journey we start to see and feel a graphic pattern of our ruling valve; the one that shapes our perceptions of this journey.  Does your ruling valve restrict flow to protect the whole heart from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune*?  Or does it pump energetically and openly, absorbing those arrows with an enduring life flow of wonderment and delight?  We all know the latter creates ease, and the former creates pressure...and with enough of the former, follows an inevitable implosion of explosive destruction.  That valve would restrict any inclination for open exploration, including the idea that seeking to remain innocent is life affirming, rather than emotional suicide.  

Like most people, my valves work in shifts, and as I get older I restrict myself more frequently - which always comes about from

fotos © Monique MOGI Gilpin

fear of a myriad of things, including fear of wanting good things for myself. But my ever dreaming childlike valve keeps screaming to reign supreme.  I breathe better by searching for fair perspectives in things; mercy and forgiveness  amidst negativity, acceptance of the inexplicable or indelible hurts, and the insistence in dancing on common ground with myself and everyone I share space and time with.  Yes there are some serious assholes out there, and real life challenges to contend with, but I feel we must understand that those who behave like assholes are simply people who are emotionally restricted by fear; and that the mental and physical work required to overcome personal conflicts or life challenges are better sustained with an open flow of positive energy (if even at a distance), than by use of suffocating anger or despairing restrictions of the heart.

What you are choosing at this precise moment is what is ruling your life at present.  But life is long, so there's time, now - if there's a need - to change your ruling valve.  What you feel, is how you live. It's your heart, no one can break it, build it, or open it more completely than you. 

* from Shakespeare's Hamlet, III.i., To be, or not to be, - sililoquy
 

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Crimson Heart Replica: Beautiful Mistake

"My music is my natural instinct, an illustration of immense emotion bleeding out from passionate hearts and souls." ~CHR 

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To all my peeps who keep my ruling valve open. 

♡♡♡

"Sonnet 29" - Performed by  Rufus Wainright, Clips from Pride & Prejudice:

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

--William Shakespeare

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RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:   Warm Light and Love (AUG 2010)

                         I Broke Up With Self-Sabotage...(JUNE 2010) 

SUPPORT POST: Another Modern Salone Pilgrim

So by now you know that every now and then I just HAVE to drop a word about a friend/fellow artist/seeker/human being who is on their own  inspiring journey.  Another such soul is MyronChristian Macauley.  Yes - um we have the same name, AND we come from the same country, Sierra Leone, AND, AND, he's a photographer and a fine one at that. 

MCM image from Marc Ecko ad campaign in Europe

A mutual friend  - also a photographer and restaurant owner, Sean John, introduced us some years ago and I've been an admirer of Christian's vision ever since. I've heard him refer to the body of his work in a nutshell as a hybrid of fashion and fine art photography...well...with a big helping of spiritual mysticism I might add.  His images have a dreamlike, ethereal quality that is attempted by many image makers today but rarely accomplished to this standard. Rather than one-dimensional aesthetic imagery, I think Christian produces mentally and emotionally provocative beauty.  

He recently put out a coffee table book, Modern Man in Search of Soul, Pub. MCM Collective, July 2010, currently available on Amazon.com, and at Bookophilia (if you're in JA) which showcases some of his best mystical work chronicling his creative and personal  spiritual journey over the past seven years in Thailand, Brazil, Kenya, India, and Greece. 

During my last stop in New York I made it a huge priority to get the book for my library. I ran over to Sean's spot, Spur Tree, to meet up with Christian and Danae Grandison of (book designer from KGN6 Design  and business partner for the MCM Collective)to get my copy.  Of course there's no big mystery why I'd love it (having been on my own version of Eat, Pray, Love for the past year and a half!), but trust - if you flip through this journey, you'll be transported further than any plane can take you.  

Here's a video from MCM's journey:

Modern Man in Search of A Soul from ofa on Vimeo.

Footage and reactions from a recent Pop-Up Gallery show in SoHo:

You can find more about him here:

-JAMATI

-The Observer

-MyronChristian Macauley blog 

You can buy your book at these places too:

-Greenlight Bookstore 

(Fort Greene, Bklyn - in store)

-Georgia Salon 

(Nolita, NY - in store)
www.georgianyc.com

-Studio Museum of Harlem (NY)

144 West 125th Street

(212) 864-4500
-MCJ bookstore 

(Nolita, NY - in store)
www.mcnallyjackson.com/

K&M Camera 

(Tribecca, NY)
www.kmcamera.com‎

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:  The Wanderer: And Old Path to Renewal (Feb 2010)

                                                Marathon for Stillness (March 2010)

                        SOLE of REDEMPTION: Majesty of the Little Things (May 2010)

Confessions from the Gap

One random and uneventful day in the last couple of months of 2010 I caught myself barely hanging on to the edge, with just small traces of motivation to maintain my grip - and so, I fell in anyway. Those days were made up of worry about what the heck I was doing with my life, how hard it had become to stay home in New York, how false it felt to propogate any attempt to network or market myself or my work, anywhere, and how unwilling I was to pour my heart out to myself or to you, or why the hell I felt so uninspired to do ANYthing.  

Falling into a real depression was what it felt like, but like a functioning alcoholic - one never would have known it to look at me. I didn't know it!  I was still getting out, or getting online, still going through the motions of a 'fine art photographer' with another show opening to close off a good year - which meant life was moving forward right?  Or just moving in any event...  But internally I felt stagnant - resigned to keep falling through the dark gap, smacking into the detritus of strange, reactive, accidental, or just plain stupid choices I made - including the complacently coorperative (or indecisive) moments that played out in several areas of my life over the course of the last year.   

          

It's funny to say in contrast that I didn't feel dark, or sad.  There wasn't the typical dose of self bashing, that I'm fairly good at, nor were there tears (which sometimes I desperately wanted), but there was some anger...the type that tends to rise when I'm in NYC, or what I'm now transporting to Jamaica.  I'm learning slowly to see/feel it's usefulness for creation though.  It's an anxious irritability that forces me into a silent period where I begin to look, listen, fall into communicative spells of imaginative trances - and from there I work, unencumbered by impatience or self judgment.  It's textures and colors useful. But it's dimensions dreadful. 

      

I heard Maya Angelou in a preview for Oprah's Master Class show on OWN, utter the words "Love LIBERATES.  Love does not own - that's Ego.  Love LIBERATES".  It happened in the middle of the night, around 2:30 in the morning on January 2nd. Quite suddenly, like a light switch being flicked up, I hit ground zero - its landing like a freshly fluffed pillow covered in silk. After a long dark fall, I fell into this soundless open cavern surrounded by portals of light - none promising anything, all inviting liberation.  I ran to grab my diary and a wrote, and cried, and laughed, and purged.  Sounds mad - but it was just my way of crawling slowly back out of the gap.  

2010 was a year of countless fortuitous events for me both professionally and personally, but I judged myself for not being enough of an architect of the better looking structures formed out of those events; thus I named myself a reactive dweller in my life.  I stopped practicing yoga, continued daily to promise myself to return to dance - and each day breaking the promise, and I took up smoking again (I know, I know...).  I basically sat around a lot, pressing auto-response buttons to my life to at least engage in minimal participation of the opportunities afforded to me.  Or so I thought.  But in actuality, I drove myself down every yellow brick bumpy road I found myself on - I just dared not admit it in a moment when loving myself was not on the agenda.  

But love LIBERATES.
  
How easy it was once I just recognized my own bullshit!  Isn't that always the case?  You crawl out of denial only to discover what a simple fool you've been for investing such energies in a self imposed (imprisoning) cover up operation.  And for whom??? For what?  To arrive where?  Well, here I guess. Full and empty. Released and ready to begin building and balancing all over again.  And yeah...to quit smoking too. Again. Sigh. 

      

Dare NOT to live in auto pilot mode - because it is precisely there that gaps form;
DARE to live inside your dreams, be in touch with your unique imagination.

There, is your evolution, 
There you flourish, 
Only there, can you oppose all external expectations of the 'established' paradigms of successful living.  
There, is a place where you can create, approve of, and use your own paradigms. 

Unpredictable ends and the fear of them make this a hard-sought and hard-won place, 
But there is the place of charged confident comfort in knowing your purpose;
a place of  sustainable contentment, innocence, strength, wonderment, and grace.  

To live there is to indeed be a free radical.

     Be radical. 
     Follow Your Heart.
     Become Your Dream. 
     MIND the GAP.

ENDGAME

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.~  

When the space for open discourse and mutual understanding and respect have been eroded by stubborn self-righteousness on all sides, how do you carve out a new opening?

The extent of any the damage and temperamental pollution in any personal conflict always determines how much work needs to be done to clear the air. It often takes courage, a sense of safety and trust, and an open and interested heart to look at your part in the mess, to admit to it, and to let yourself receive the same from the other. 

I'm no fan of conflict (as most of us aren't - ha!).  It's upsetting, and my default is either to run; and if I stay, it is to express, to listen, to be heard, to concede, and to attempt to reach across the fence with palms up - so as to arrive at an even clearer and heightened space in my relationships.  I've been told by some that this is courage, by others, that it's cowardly, and by others still, that it's a crock of unrealistic new-age arrogant bullshit. 

Gandhi said that "anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding", that "anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is the monster that swallows it up".  I couldn't agree more.  But intolerance I feel is perhaps the worst ingredient of all.  If someone pisses you off, that's fine, we're human, and as fallible individuals, we gather baggage, we create unrealistic expectations of others, and we disagree on many matters of conduct.  But it's how we rise and fall from our tirades of perceived rejection that sets the lasting impression of our character, and creates the clearings or obstacles to personal growth and inner peace. 

It is important to ask: when the inner warrior stops swinging, is it because you subdued your foe, or because you subdued yourself? Did you speak more, or listen more?  Did you seek to be understood, ...or to understand? What did you say, what did you hear, what did you learn? Did you walk away with a more open heart, or with declarations of justified intolerance? Do you feel better at the end of a fray only if the other acquiesced to your point of view?  Are you committed to winning only by being right?   And what's the prize exactly?  Sometimes it feels great to be right, sure, but in the short term. If there was little risk or sacrifice of ego in acquiring it though - then haven't we actually lost? I love a good debate, and I'm passionate about my convictions, and I've been rightly accused of being condescending at times.  But pertaining to personal differences, no matter the position I have, or the facade I attempt to create, I inevitably will carry the burden of knowing when my 'right' was actually wrong. Not fun at all.

We must be honest about the hurt of having our toes crushed, for certain, but we can only 'win' new ground by also accepting our part in the dance, otherwise our growth is stunted and our tempers remain unsettled. It's hard work to cry, and then to smile, and then to offer love when we are confronted with rejection, but the rewards of doing so earn far more trust and respect, if not from your opponent, at least then for yourself. 
  

Conversely, at times it's best to ration our exposure to incompatible souls.  Sometimes it's best to concede and accept unfavourable outcomes as some souls are immutable, or even dangerous in their erruptions. Whenever I arrive at such a juncture, I end up asking: Is this truly enlightenment and acceptance? Is it brave? Or is it a wimpy act of avoidance for the sake of peace?  I'm not always sure.

Either way, I think it's ultimately more comfortable to surrender my pride, and take personal responsibility in the end.  I'm inspired by the intense need to create safety through honest disclosure of my fears, concerns, needs, and disappointments, in the hope that this may create a safe space for others to do the same. For peaceful relationships? Yes. For a desire to live in love? Absolutely!  In the end, it's the only play on this spacious board of life that I can sleep with.  

On a frivolous note...the mushrooms came back!

And look how happy SpongeBob is despite being under seige!

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. 
~Martin Luther King, Jr.~ 

Ku-ing the States of Fear

 "I had a fool's confidence..." that a life conducted openly, honestly, and earnestly would keep the fear at bay.  

In yesterday's BUSH society, the main accomplishment was the creation of a new world energy now governed by fear and mistrust; our basic sense of community now demoralized by it; so much so that seeming good intentions and kindness are not expected and therefore not trusted.  In fact when it is offered, suspicion, or counter offers in the form of passive aggression seem to be standard responses.  

On this playing field, there's no teamwork.  We pull away from each other, pull into ourselves, into our shells where we think its safe.  But there's the rub.  Inside the shell we starve ourselves of touch, kind sounds, support, affection, and thus good fortune that can only come from supportive communities.  As fearful beings we only support our egotistical inner demons who see others as enemies of our progress. 

But there are no enemies; only friends who live in fear as we do.  Ironic that in fear we strive to be alone, rather than to reach out to protect and hold each other up.  This really pisses me off, but most of the time it just disappoints and saddens me.  However, all of the time I want to be, so I rebel by trying to be, a confident fool who just wants to be playing with YOU in the rain...fearlessly.

"Somehow Crazy"
Sun sets on our love
So intense and then nothing
Funny how it dies.

"venge-full"
Takes two to refill
(One to distract, two to kill)
The space left by one

~ Mystic Urchin~

LABYRINTH of FOREVER: Doorway for the Spirit Chasers

So I'm doing it again. I've entered the annual Art For Progress competition: Clash of the Artists 2010 and I need YOUR VOTE!  

It's a small annual global contest with a handful of competitive categories: Visual Art, Music, Film, Fashion, DJ, and Creative.  I've put a video in the Creative category.   Some of you may remember I won this back in 2008 with a video presentation of my photo series SPLIT.  

This video is a new edit of work I directed (shot by Fury Young) last Spring.  I prepared a treatment and scripted scenes for this a couple years ago, originally to be part of my CrowDeD series.

I then adapted it for a projection piece used in a 30 minute dance performance at Nina Buisson's Avant Garde Festival in June 09'. 

It's a much shorter edit now, at 7 mins, with the new title, LABYRINTH of FOREVER: Doorway for the Spirit Chasers. Mystic Urchin supplemented it with some great text too! I hope you like it. 

Please click the links to vote - when you get there, scroll down on the Art for Progress Creative voting page to find my video.  Thanks y'all!


NOTE: You will be sent a confirmation email with link that you need to click on or your vote won't go through. 


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VOTE FOR THIS VIDEO


LABYRINTH of FOREVER: Doorway for the Spirit Chasers from SeBiArt on Vimeo.

|excerpt|

the promise of forever frightens us,
threatening to bury us
in an immeasurable matrix
of darkness…

hold to your frequency
to live forever


~Mystic Urchin~

CREDITS:

Art and Film Direction by Berette Macaulay

Performers in Order of Appearance:
Maki Shinagawa
Cristal Albornoz
Berette Macaulay

Shot by Fury Young

Text by Steve ‘Urchin’ Wilson

Painting and Costumes by Cristal Albornoz

Additional photography SeBiArt

Film, Sound, and Text Editing by Berette Macaulay

A SeBiArt Production.

*Add'l Behind the Hidden Gate colour foto inserts I promised in a recent post.

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS: 

I Friggin WON!!! Ha - I got support like Obama!! lol! (Feb 2008)

Avant Garde Festival (May 2009)

Behind The Hidden Gate (Jan 2010)

The Black List Project and the conversations it provokes..

I must sleep and digest what I just saw and heard at the Brooklyn Museum today - and then return to this entry. But for starters - I was invited by another female photographer of color, Amanda Adams Louis, to attend a special event, a panel discussion "What's Black Got To Do with It?" at the Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Auditorium. The summary of this was as follows:

This panel discussion, moderated by Elvis Mitchell, interviewer for The Black List Project, continues the exhibition’s consideration of how race, history, and each individual's striving shape and enrich their stories of success. The discussion will center on what the next four years might hold for Black women now that First Lady Obama and her daughters have moved into the White House. Panelists will include Studio Museum in Harlem Director and Chief Curator Thelma Golden, acclaimed artist Lorna Simpson , and CNN Entertainment Correspondent Lola Ogunnaike.

I had wanted very much to see this project featuring large format portraits by Timothy Greenfield Saunders - so the topic of discussion was simply an added bonus. Sitting in that auditorium and listening to these women, and to Elvis Mitchell, made me realize and remember a simple truth...it is really important to congregate, to gather and share your experience. I heard things that I thought in my self imposed isolation were my own concerns or observations. Gosh what a shock to realize how common it was that women of color do so revel in Michelle Obamas skin tone and features, and what meaning it brings to how we feel we will be perceived henceforth.



There were many areas of discussion enveloped in the question of "What's Black Got to do with it?" such as:

-How we will weather the complete destabilization, well, destruction of our federal funding for the arts, and how that will challenge particularly non-commercial artists of color. Lorna Simpson made some incredible points about the technological inequities that exist, where access and ability to participate in the new world of internet exposure is sharply limited among people of color, particularly in the poor nations of the world, in Africa and the Caribbean. The irony is that its much cheaper to get your work seen in today's digital world - but you must have access to those cheaper means in order to benefit from this advancement. When and how, in today's economy will we have sufficient initiatives to bridge this gap? At least, I heard today, that Obama's stimulus proposal will include $50 million to the Nat'l Endow. for the Arts. It's a start...

- We are now by default made to return to important conversations and cultural observations of our place, our growth, our importance, and our contributions to society, now that the "bling bling" era of self-serving materialistic distraction has now been brought to a sudden and jarring halt.

-We must now consider how to quantify the significance or gravitas of Michelle Obama's win, how black women will be viewed, and what will now be expected of them, of us; the excitement and concern of what it means to suddenly be shifted from invisibility to complete and utter important symbolic visibility..., hers, her daughters, and thus our sudden and near ubiquitous image now and forever and positively included in the photographic history of America...of the world!

Lola Ogunnaike was repeatedly noting that in her experience, she was constantly responding to comments of how her presence as a dark-skinned black woman on CNN was of particular importance to many sisters, that the meaning of this has apparently swelled with Michelle Obama's ascent to First Lady in the White House.

-There was too, a question by Elvis Mitchell whether all people of color, will disappear AFTER Obama - like how TV land looked post the Cosby Show? Could this attention be just for the moment? Where will we be in four years? And someone asked too - what is Black History Month now going to be like - and will it become redundant?

There were indeed SO many things I wanted to discuss regarding my understanding of the significance of this time - through the eyes of an immigrant, a perpetual immigrant...a West African (Sierra Leoneon born), raised, and schooled in the Caribbean, British, and American societies, seeped in the social sensitivities of the black diaspora from three very distinct points of view. I asked what I thought was quite an important question:

So now that our image has been positively redesigned in the likeness of the Obamas for other 'races' - what will this do for relationships WITHIN the black race? How does this address intra-racism? And since this panel is specifically about black women - how does this affect the relationships among all sisters of color?


More anon - but in the meantime...I've found the Black List playlist on youtube. Check it:

What Is It to Live Creatively?

The question I've pondered my whole life is "what is it to live a creative life?" Is it to search, or to find your purpose and passionately without fear or caution, chart a course of action to pursue this singular purpose and fulfill it? Or is it to let the essence that is YOU change and unfold anew, as you keep yourself open to any and all adventures you may happen upon; to create and share multiple textures of self and to be rewarded and fulfilled by the experience itself?

I've tried both and neither way has settled the question. The traditional paradigm that we all exist in - particularly in America I think, offers little permission for the latter, and few rewards for the obedient follower of the former. There is great monetary reinforcement and useful social gain to opt for another path - that is, to live the pre-meditated, strategic life: get the traditional degree - one that has been proven to be socially necessary and profitable, and get it from the right institution; attend the right parties; join the acceptable clubs; learn the unoffensive, agreeble language; think critically only when a format is set as to how to do so acceptably; invest here; buy that; live here; eat 2000 calories a day; laugh at this volume; marry that person; procreate by X age; don't curse; never share; expose nothing; eat your vegetables; drink more water; etc, etc. By the time you've satisfied even half of this list perhaps 20 years have gone by and suddenly you're gripped by a frighting and urgent need for a DO-OVER, back when you knew who you were and what your taste was, how to take risks, and the fact that you hate water and like to use the word "fuck". Sound familiar? Perhaps because we're horse fed this shit, only about living as a straight player BY the straight players as it were; the mysteriously irrefutable and unidentified 'they' we always hear about...

But what about those of us who live only in a state of risk? We wake up one day too from our non-traditional high-on-life trip, only to realize that we're on the outside with no way of buying our way back in. The mid-life crisis of the artist??? What in Christ's name is that? Well, if you didn't sell your soul to Big Brother - you wake up and realize that you made the decision to be financially and socially isolated from the majority of 'swimming sleeping minions', who you now idolize from inside your 'empty' fish bowl, sealed and seated in a vast tank of unreachable toys and comforts, while their faces press in to your globe wishing to experience for a day what it could be like to be such a liberated and exotic misfit. Incredible.

Could the grass be greener only and simply because we have our backs turned to our own lawn while craning our necks over the fence to get a peep at the garden next door?

To live creatively I believe is to live honestly; in truth; however that is to be manifested by you - whatever that means, so long as it is satisfying an intrinsic need within you to feel, experience, create, or express, and NOT to satisfy some external requirement or subscription on how to live out the limited days you have on this earth.

With that - I leave you with a trailer for a documentary I intend to watch VERY shortly, about someone who has done just that: Dr. Hunter S. Thompson





see link below also.  serious talk and hard truth with eerily current relevance.

Top Ten Hunter S. Thompson Quotes on Alternative Reel

lines|music|poetry|humanity - the words and voice of Ben Okri

"We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans. And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate. It's just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there. Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn't have expected."

"Reading, like writing, is a creative act. If readers only bring a narrow range of themselves to the book, then they'll only see their narrow range reflected in it."

And speaking of narrow views -  this is such a poignant talk on the danger of such limitations - seen on TED:  "Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice -- and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding."

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story

Einstein Stuff

Isn't that beautiful?

2 COMMENTS FOR THIS ENTRY


Warrior Princess - Yxi

hmmm, delusions...
widening our circle of compassion, loving the phrase and its meaning


Thank you goddess for this one~

Y.

Posted by WarriorPrincess-Yxia on Saturday, October 06, 2007 - 16:09
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Sawandi

It sure is

Posted by Sawandi on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 22:43
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