The Ruling Valve

Performer: Crimson Heart Replica 

Does the wounded part of your heart direct your life, or do the wishes of the soft untarnished part race to create your experiences? People say life is short.  But I say life is long.  Think of how many memories you have, how many people you've met, how many disappointments you've moved past, how many surprises have tickled your outlook?  And just think how many more of those are ahead.  Every aspect of life, major or minor, in every place you have lived, every job you've had, every failing or successful result from any effort, every person - asshole or angel, stranger, family member, or friend, has shaped and reshaped your choices for your life,  the lessons you've learned, and how you feel about yourself and others...in short your identity...your heart.  

Our hearts get molded and recolored over and over again, but over the course of this long LONG journey we start to see and feel a graphic pattern of our ruling valve; the one that shapes our perceptions of this journey.  Does your ruling valve restrict flow to protect the whole heart from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune*?  Or does it pump energetically and openly, absorbing those arrows with an enduring life flow of wonderment and delight?  We all know the latter creates ease, and the former creates pressure...and with enough of the former, follows an inevitable implosion of explosive destruction.  That valve would restrict any inclination for open exploration, including the idea that seeking to remain innocent is life affirming, rather than emotional suicide.  

Like most people, my valves work in shifts, and as I get older I restrict myself more frequently - which always comes about from

fotos © Monique MOGI Gilpin

fear of a myriad of things, including fear of wanting good things for myself. But my ever dreaming childlike valve keeps screaming to reign supreme.  I breathe better by searching for fair perspectives in things; mercy and forgiveness  amidst negativity, acceptance of the inexplicable or indelible hurts, and the insistence in dancing on common ground with myself and everyone I share space and time with.  Yes there are some serious assholes out there, and real life challenges to contend with, but I feel we must understand that those who behave like assholes are simply people who are emotionally restricted by fear; and that the mental and physical work required to overcome personal conflicts or life challenges are better sustained with an open flow of positive energy (if even at a distance), than by use of suffocating anger or despairing restrictions of the heart.

What you are choosing at this precise moment is what is ruling your life at present.  But life is long, so there's time, now - if there's a need - to change your ruling valve.  What you feel, is how you live. It's your heart, no one can break it, build it, or open it more completely than you. 

* from Shakespeare's Hamlet, III.i., To be, or not to be, - sililoquy
 

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Crimson Heart Replica: Beautiful Mistake

"My music is my natural instinct, an illustration of immense emotion bleeding out from passionate hearts and souls." ~CHR 

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To all my peeps who keep my ruling valve open. 

♡♡♡

"Sonnet 29" - Performed by  Rufus Wainright, Clips from Pride & Prejudice:

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

--William Shakespeare

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