A Letter to Rachel Dolezal

Dear Rachel Dolezal,

As I have posted online countless times, I will offer again, in such times, my deferral to the inimitable James Baldwin:

"White is a state of mind" baby!

Meaning, as I'm sure you know, - RACE is a state of mind.  I am not mad you lady; confused by you, but not mad at you.  So you wanted
to be ME, and play a black woman in this world.  Okay.  You certainly could have chosen easier ways to practice your vocational work in civil rights and liberties efforts, an easier way to do the job as it were.  And from what I understand, you've been doing a great job, which you were not given due to any privileges.  So, this matter is a personal one then.  As far as I see it, you have not hurt the cause, or my cause, nor created any potholes in my lawn.  In fact, you may have helped in some indirect odd way.  Who woulda thunk it - a blondie that supposedly gentlemen prefer now wants to be ME!! Well I'll be.

As far as your identity issues, well - keep exploring. If most of us dig deep enough - we can relate.  After all, we are ONE right? And this is the journey we're all on really...to move from the illusive self...to an integrated self. Just keep it honest would be my only advice. People get really upset about lying you see.

And don't you agree that we should get back to the real business at hand - like flooding platforms with vehement comments and the streets with urgent cries on picket signs about the dire humanitarian crisis that is going on at the DR/Haitian border AS WE SPEAK?!  You know - that racial cleansing, stateless sanctioning, reverse forced exodus of a people just a few miles south - the Palestine of the Western Hemisphere dare I be so harsh???!!! 

I know, I know, Facebook needs this fodder, and those TV appearances and book deals are flooding in, soon to buff your bank account, but aren't you just itching to get to get back to some real work here for the true effective betterment of our black brothers and sisters?  Yeah, me too.

To the cause!! And let the forum of idle chatter scatter you transracial poster child you! But I won't call you a bad mamma-Jenner though. Nope. Don't see the connection.

Oh and nice tan and perm by the way - fooled us all, but - it cost us nothing, so over and out.

~  Sincerely from the Monuments of MLK

"If we are to have peace on Earth, our loyalties must become ecumenical rather than sectional.  Our loyalties must transcend
our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective."

Berette Macaulay

Another Robin Hood Capitalist Goes to Africa

“This is a relationship that could bring us all the things we desire,” Jeffrey Wright said. [from NYT Article]
 Will it really?  Not from what I can glean.

Michael Christopher Brown/Magnum, for The New York Times

A few days ago a dear friend sent this New York Times Magazine Article: Jeffrey Wright's Gold Mine, and I had to sit with it for a bit because quite frankly I didn't want to express too soon my innermost reactions of utter distaste.

I am all for the worldwide excitement that now swirls around Africa; I'm overjoyed and inspired by the throngs of Afropolitans who are relocating  there in record numbers to reclaim and rebuild. They, we, have her best interest at heart in investing in her growth and resurgence as the power that she always was - due to her most abundant bossom and talented children.  And make no mistake, this is a very significant event that has created such terms as "reverse migration" or "reverse brain drain" which are being used to describe a very specific socio-economic effect.  Once the Westernized educated classes of third world nations would leave their countries to help build the already powerful industrial nations from which capitalist driven standards hailed.  The effect of this was brain drain (human capital flight) which often left the poorer nations struggling to compete effectively in any international industry due to a lack of skilled work forces.  In turn this would of course affect a nations GDP (gross domestic product) growth.  Now for the first time in the LONG and (still debated) complicated history of world economics, the reverse is occurring.  The wide significance of this can be sourced to many publications and statistical reports, not least of which by the World Bank citing in 2013 that the fastest growing economies belonged mostly to African nations - and Sierra Leone is sustaining her top ranking position on this list.  Time Magazine and The Economist actually had the

same Africa Rising cover issue titles when reporting this phenomenon! There is no coincidence in the fact that the(current) race for Mama Africa (headed by China over 10 years ago) reawakened Europe's interest, and now supposedly 'concerns' that of the USA; - a crazed rush of which her own children are keenly aware.  Africans want ownership interest in her future - OBVIOUSLY.  No child of hers wishes to see her raped and robbed again!  Which brings me back to the responsibility of the individual, and this move by actor Jeffrey Wright and his gold mining project - which sorry, does not have the appearance of real interest in development or profitable investor growth FOR MY country Sierra Leone.  It looks like just the opposite.  

Is it me, or does his pet gold mine project have all the earmarks of the old imperialist model of exploitation for industrial and western profit?! And worse still because he does it under the guise of his right and spiritual destiny as a black man coming to do his part to help rebuild a chosen African nation which he has tricked himself into believing he has interest in!  How can it be real interest if you offer partnership to outside investors (he included) for profits to be removed from the very country you dig up for your personal enrichment?  Unless I'm misinterpreting something here - it seems he's recycling damaging strategies that put Sierra Leone in the very mess he proposes to be aiding to clean.  What fucking hypocrisy!

There are many well-meaning celebrities who have put their face, and sometimes time, effort, or money into charitable pots created by humanitarian organizations - and sometimes unfortunately to little avail.  The model of charity is indeed being reexamined as one that doesn't ultimately help to lift a troubled nation out of poverty. The old adage is true - better to teach one how to fish.   “Charity degrades those who receive it and hardens those who dispense it.” [from NYT article].  Agreed.  Wright cites this quote  in the article - and yes this is true in many cases, but certainly the alternative is not to repeat models of exploitation behind the cloak of a radical Robin Hood capitalist digging for gold instead of diamonds.  And especially not if you're robbing the poor you propose to be educating and empowering Jeffrey! Hello! Ugh - this man, this artist is in the specific performing profession of the empath - that's what you do as an actor, but all I see from this article, as I frankly have seen in some of his performances, is one of an arrogant self-appointed massah.

"Sierra Leone was one of the world’s most failed states. And it is ringed by war-ravaged Liberia and by Guinea, whose government was fast collapsing. To all but the most intrepid, Sierra Leone’s gold didn’t seem worth the gamble." [from NYT article].  And being among the most intrepid gives you no credibility in my book if you can go into such a state nonetheless and take resources and personally control trade in the name of nation rebuilding.  It absolves you of nothing.

Guess I still haven't cooled off yet...

Thank you Bea - this woke me from my personal silence. xo

"The narrative will always glorify the hunter until the lion learns to write."
Just like you said Komla Dumor
#VoiceOfAfrica 

Full New York Times article here

Crumbling Culture of the Catholic Church

As a recovering Catholic there are many criticisms that I have of this institution and so serve as reasons why I refer to myself this way.   I actively disengaged myself as a practitioner of this faith around the age of 12 before the completion of my Confirmation  because I couldn't reconcile pressing questions I had about what I saw as dangerous contradictions within the culture of this church.


-I am suspicious of a Church (founded on the principles of Christ) that has a secular and political structure whose function of power is wholly undemocratic, where fundamental decisions of leadership are decided by a College of Cardinals - an elite group free of any pressure of public debate or consequential indictments by the main populace of its congregation.  

-I don't support any entity that bars the ascent of women in leadership roles - undemocratic or not. How can the archaic rigidity of a patriarchal heirarchy have real progressive significance in today's world?

-I'm not inspired by rituals or faithful commitments to a life of fear, sorrow, and apology.  I want to joyfully recognize the gift of life, not feel impelled to constantly apologize for the receipt of it.  Is there not for gratitude in seeing our birth as one of a blessing, rather than in original sin for which we must beg for salvation through presumably therefore no fault of our own?  I don't get that.  It makes our God, or any Universal and unifying law seem meglomaniacal. 

-It just irks me that an entity whose expressed purpose is to lead in faith and serve the poor and thus calls itself a 'church', is actually a sovereign state diplomatically known as the Holy See (which represents Vatican City). Though one of the mere 3 non-member states in the world of nations, the Holy See is an 'Observer' of the United Nations and the European Union, and its jurisdiction is recognized by "other subjects of international law" - with its own police, and military protection - the Pontifical Swiss Guard. 

I find it difficult to reconcile the teachings of Jesus with the preachings of an organization that maintains a complex global administrative heirarchal ministry of clergy through whom followers must seek counsel with them as intermediaries for indulgencies, forgiveness, etc with or from the true CEOs of this corporation - The Trinity.  It's inconsistent for me - as all three, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are considered (even after Christendom, and according to hypostasis) mysteriously Omnipresent and thus instantly accessible to all...yes? So why the bureaucratic gates of exclusion?

-I do not like that, unlike most other international institutions with such powerful mass leadership, this Church can harbour alleged criminals of sexual violence and often avoid appropriate modes or warrants for investigations or questioning by authorities, as would be the consequences of any other organization beseiged by undenied charges of child abuse.  That they still have the power to handle legal (civil and criminal) matters internally beyond just elections of their clergy and upkeep of their laws, speaks actually to their immense power. No other independent state in the international body is allowed such control. The few that function this way are referred to as fascist states barred from the international community.  But then - they serve other important pycho-social purposes for keeping us in check, don't they? (See the Investiture Controversy, Simony, the Gregorian Reforms, and Fundamental Law of Vatican City State )

-It's also highly disturbing to me that while being aware of the behavioural dangers of unprotected sex and lack of birth control planning, that this institution still endorses them.  The condemnation of any resistance of such rules as great sins is  dangerously irresponsible in its effect on the poor, and gives the appearance to me, of a power-dependency by the church on the very populations they are credited to aid. It gives the impression that this holy organization thrives only on uncontrolled growth of a psychologically stressed and dependent population so as to remain  purposeful and relevant. 

I know these are harsh charges but they are not at all new or unusual; the merits of these are in the challenges this institution has suffered for centuries, and quite widely in the last decade.  The Church has been emptying out with severe reductions in mass attendance, closures of schools and missionaries; its followers -rather than practicing obediently- have been turning their backs on out-dated and dangerous doctrines; and the conversion rates to the faith have steadily been dropping with most of their 1.2 billion followers being made up of members born into the faith as opposed to choosing it...unlike Islam for instance.  And this doesn't even touch the dirtiest charges of them all...  I mean really, when was the last time you ever heard of an adult searching for spiritual practice saying they're thinking of becoming Catholic...?  People searching for mystical or spiritual meaning and ritual in their lives seem to turn to eastern philosophies and practices these days...

College of Cardinals | Source: Papal Conclave 2013

But - the recent election by the College of Cardinals of Jorge Mario Begoglio of Argentina, now Pope Francis, was a sign from the Cardinal Conclave as being at least politically

thoughtful in how to rescue their influence.  They have made history choosing a new Pope of non-European descent for the first time in Vatican history.  There were many hopes (and bets) that American Cardinal Dolan, African Cardinal Turkson, and a couple other headliners would be chosen.  As a West African, needless to say I would have been quite okay with Turkson being named. And actually - he would not have been the first black Pope - just the newest. The last African to lead the Catholic Church was Pope Gelasius I - 1500 years ago.   Anyway - point being Bergoglio wasn't even on the popular radar as these men were,  which was quite the shock.  But funny that while chatting about this on twitter just moments after the #whitesmoke announcement - there was immediate follow up of excitement over this man and the costume changes!  Older and not so robust eh. He's 76 with only one lung in his chest!  So much for putting a young and healthy guy in there.  Yet he was readily embraced and continues to win the world over with an informal swagger if you will.  

Francis of Assisi | Source: Wikipedia

I remain shocked that given my cyncial feelings toward my childhood faith - I am pleased and hopeful for all ye faithfuls.  He has a history of being a devoted, pious, present, and humble guy who actually lived this way and aptly chose the name Francis after his election in honor of Francis of Assisi (patron saint for the poor and protector of animals - who after living a loud and priviledged life, was inspired by a vision to devote his time to service whilst living in poverty). What does this all mean?  Could it be emotional manipulation.  Could it be a geniunely humble association too though. Honestly I have no idea - but it gave me a nostalgic buzz because St. Francis was my favourite saint as a child. Never mind that my terrible Catholic school days were punctuated by the uber strict guidance of Franciscan nuns - which always somehow felt like a disconnect.  Anyway I just hope this guy makes some decisions that move the Church forward. Can't say I'm surprised that already there has been a little 'dirt' on Pope Francis. But that said,  so far he appears to be giving the Vatican pompous culture a bit of a shake down which is cool to see.  

Pope Francis | Source: AP (via Yahoo)

The world population of those struggling through hardship and in need of faith is larger than it ever has been, and the church needs charisma and new ideas...and perhaps a resurgence of their oldest ideas...you know, the teachings of Christ prior to Christendom.  Will that bring hoards of recovering Catholics back to regular mass?  Not sure about all that - at least for me anyway.  I like to mix my faith and spirituality a bit too much - but I would like to stop calling myself a recovering Catholic.  Nothing can be done about the wretched historical record of this very organised religion, but much can be done to open and illuminate the culture of it's worldwide influence. We'll see.

...on the Cusp of Growing Up in America

The difficulty for me each year is to figure out the answer this internal question:  How do I celebrate or participate in Black History Month? 

Those who have been in intimate company with me know the intricacies of my conclusion that the US is a nutty place to live.   It is ceaselessly astonishing to me that this daring land of the We the..free, should still be today -despite a litany of admirable efforts and results consistent with 'the dream'- so obstinately shackled in old societal clashes of race, gender, and gun violence at the near 50% dividing line in the population!  And - that the sluggish transcendence of these issues seem to go unnoticed as harbingers to our pervading inequalities in health and education, that would nurture a more autonomously creative society truly free to pursue that so-called right to happiness without these  mind-reducing and soul-crushing tensions. 

But -  to the matter of this persisting social construct of 'race' in this our 'Black History Month' - it is a rather inadequate recognition and inspires far less reverence in me than say a Date of Remembrance or any single historical event. I therefore rarely arrive at an answer that satisfies, because it is to me - the absence of this specially named  month that might remove the stigma of "Black" as something that is the victimized  "Other" and still in need of special recognition.

Some words by James Baldwin (guest of honor at the National Press Club [CSPAN 1986]) serve for me as the best summary of the urgency of this absurdity.  Drag the player to listen [from 38.16 - 40:50] where he answers questions on race relations in America today... "A modest proposal: How about White History Week?!"

view on Netflix

What would be far more useful in empowering and transcending this distinction I believe would be to return to the base, to the beginning both in the telling of all history and where it is taught.   Lost Kingdoms of Africa for instance, is not to be reserved for private video rentals or  hosted exhibitions and talks in a special month reserved for such dissemination.  It would be better to further press our institutions to assure this as mandated eduction for ALL children;  as we, and as they are now taught of the Greeks and Romans and other old Empires.  It should all be a matter of course, but we still live in a time where such knowledge is threatening for unfortunate, unfair, and frankly expired reasons and thus still face opposition in appeals for wide cultural dissemination.  This unspoken social reparation of a notable month, fought for and understandably believed to be our entitlement, is but a false right that reinforces our separation through touted celebrations of abbreviated triumphs of our 'overcoming'  in the last 50 -100 years as a people, and serves only and still to do just that …to separate and to annihalite a much longer story fitted for attention in one month out of the year(?)!!  The entitlement of this 'special interest' is an insufficient delusion that serves none of the so-called races, in any culture, least of all blacks who are  now 'integrated members' of society. To these points, I highly recommend listening to Nigerian writer Chimamanda Adichie who spoke so eloquently in a TED talk on "the danger of the single story" and its effect on cultural histories and contemporary  relationships.  

Wikipedia Image

Indeed there are many equalizing effects that the presence of Barack Obama and his family have had on the image of people of colour in the US and the world view to be certain, along with countless other figures; we can see it all over the media. But still and yet, here we are and more than ever divided almost violently by race.  All you have to do is turn on the local evening news in this country. Or, read a few YouTube comment threads - it's amazing how fast a reasonable discussion will descend into senseless vitriol.  2013 people!!! And this while the world considers a first black Pope - and an African to boot - to rescue the declining influence of the Catholic church - which I venture to guess would also be fun for pictures but would change little in their institutional doctrine. 

Yes.  Change,...in modern history, is certainly here, but so hypocritically welcomed that it appears as a hallucination of ironies at best. Note that in researching for this post, I found a bare few reports from any of the world news orgs on the Black Pope headliner...but much more on the international political vying over which country the next Pope will come from. Yeah - so much for separation of Church and State...  This paired with premature news fodder on who will be the 1st Woman President of the United States. Could it be Michelle Obama who is both black AND a woman?!  And on that matter - as we head towards the next Women's History Month - dare we dream that:

1) the leading religions - the heirachal power structures between Man and God that have rewritten a lot of history (ironically)in the name or preservation of God's kingdom - may consider allowing Women to participate, and lead...too?
2) the two most powerful imperial entities -America and the Vatican- will disabuse their delusional right of power over the natural, social, and spiritual worlds and allow equality and validity of all existence?  

THIS could eradicate the need for a month of head patting!


I indeed understand how the necessity these special History Months came about, I just wish we no longer had need for them.  The growing up simply isn't happening fast enough for me I guess...
Suffice it to say - this month I celebrated nothing. But I did find James Baldwin. 


Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.
~ James A. Baldwin





 
PAST RELATED POSTS:
A Response to Dispatches from (A)MENDED America (December 2008)

What it means to PRIORITIZE!!! (March 2009)

"Why Do You Talk So White?!!" - (Uh oh - it's a race rant...) (March 2012)

How to Think...if we're still interested....

It's official - I'm cheating on my boyfriend Albert Einstein with Chris Hedges - hahahaha

It all started with the brilliant, direct, and accessible argument against fundamentalism in I Don't Believe In Atheists, 2008.  Now I own 3 more of his books and follow his writings on Truthdig.  We have few of these minds left people - I highly recommend taking in some of his jottings.

Hedges is a Pulitzer Prize winning author with 20 years under his belt as a war correspondent for the New York Times,  Christian Science Monitor, and NPR (National Public Radio). This life experience is paired with an MA from the Harvard Divinity School - which I imagine broadens his analytical discourse exponentially.  He dissects all aspects of societies and troubles therein - pulling references from the humanities, science, and a profound facility for assertive reasoning. He minces nothing, spares nothing, and gives it straight - which is not only refreshing but so necessary for those of us who dare listen.  

Reality is more illusion than ever before where we willingly live entrenched in bullshit (aka overdose of mind-numbing distraction and impractical 'positive thinking') to the point of harmful asininity  which seems more now to paralyze our ability to think critically, to speak and act honestly, and to listen to our instincts.  All points he appeals in near desperation.  

I love this man's mind.  Lofty be his brilliance, but his rhetoric is more firmly footed than most of our intellectuals today. 

Here is his latest post on the survival and endurance of culture through and because of The Arts:  How to Think on Truthdig

 

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:

Why "i•ma•gine | e•volve"  (April 2012)

Perceptions and People (February 2012)

My Lifetime Crush on a Quirky Scientist (January 2012)

The e-Con Highway (November 2010)

Social Web Divisions???

I just love the endlessness of social studies on social website behaviours here in the US and around the world.  

Though I started my own work observations on this back in 2010 - I imagine that this work will continue on.  I try to read up on any new findings about how our online actions either mimic or override real life social mores and norms.

The BBC recently posted this on their site:  

Is the social web divided by race?

It's an interesting short read and video on how the different races appear to be statistically clustering to certain social sites on the internet.  Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr are featured - making Facebook glaringly absent...  Hmmm....

Check it out!

 

 

 

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS: 

Next SeBiArt Show in Miami + first time Art Basel Visit (Nov 2011)

Never-ending Search for Sweet Spots

May seem like a random thought ...well I guess it is, but I wanted to save it here with a couple of feel-good videos for future reference:

Be confident in what you want

   so you clearly demand it

But remain humble and innocent in the asking

   so you can graciously receive it.  

We are all we need...

  b a l a n c e  

Mind the Gap

A message for life as a creative:

Ira Glass on Storytelling from David Shiyang Liu on Vimeo.

The generous and perfect synchronicity of nature:

NOTE:  If you can't see this you need to visit the actual blog to view the clips

Hail A Wall of Accountability

This from MOVEON.org:

"How we can hold Wall Street accountable

Reports are out that within the next 24 hours, President Obama
could make the call on whether to hold Wall Street accountable and open an
investigation into the banks' role in the housing crisis, or agree to a
sweetheart deal that lets them off the hook.

The greed and fraud of Wall Street banks caused the loss of millions of homes and billions of dollars in the housing crash. 

Now we need President Obama to take a strong stance for homeowners, and for accountability, by opening a federal investigation into big bank fraud.

This is something the president can do on his own right now, without fighting Congress. And millions of Americans can be helped if banks are held responsible and forced to compensate homeowners for their wrongdoing. 

A compiled petition with your individual comment will be presented to President Obama."

How do you feel about the idea of signing a petition to urge Obama to move forward with an investigation of Wall Street Bankers?  I feel alright about that actually.  I mean if memory serves, he's been cussin' about them since his Senator days right?  Long before the now worldwide OCCUPY WALL STREET movement.  So...now it's time for action yah?

If you feel apathetic about it - let recent results of the riZe of the people encourage you.  What you do or say, sign your name to, or act on has real effect and that's no rhetoric.  All you need to do is look at the recent SOPA and PIPA squash, done by the people and for the people, to understand where the power of your voice lies.  Need more - read this article from Mike Lux of the Huffington Post to excite you a bit more:  Shaking Their Windows and Rattling Their Walls - it's awfully inspiring:

"As Bob Dylan would put it, the times they are a-changin'. There's a storm outside and it's raging, baby. We really are shaking their windows and rattling their walls. Done deals are not getting done. Dead appointments are acting like Lazarus and rising from the dead. The establishment is getting very, very nervous. And grassroots activists, from the occupiers to the netroots to those chaining themselves to the White House fence or sitting in at the Wisconsin Capitol last year, are shaking and rattling things all over."

 

                      As he also notes in his article, Obama would be wise to align himself with the grassroots movement - I say REALIGN as lest we forget it is from whence he came.  It's time to stop the bullshit.  24 hours folks. 
 

ACT, to make our leaders ACT.  Here's the link if you feel inclined to get a real investigation going on this 'recession' matter: 

Move On Petition LINK: http://pol.moveon.org/bankfraud/?r_by=&rc=pac_bankfraud.email.g0

                                                    Extra Reading Class :)  

-Constitutional Amendment Not Needed: Congress Already Has a Remedy

-President Carter on the Supreme Court's decision to legalize private funding for political campaigning,"It's legalized bribery"

*Photos from Occupy Denver 2011


RELATED JOURNEY POSTS: 

->The e-Con Highway (Nov 2010)

Credit Where It's Due

I got an email today that I had to share here:




    Why is it that a Black Man can create a tiny piece called a filament (electric light - Lewis Latimer) that allows people to see in the dark?   

But can't be seen fit to lead a country to the true light.

Why is it  that a Black Man can create an instrument (clock - Benjamin Banneker) that  all people use to tell time? 

But people don't think it is time for him to run a country.


Why is it that a Black Man can design a place for the high authorities to meet in and a place for the president to live in  (The Capital and the White House Phillip Reid (a slave) and Pierre L'Enfant)? 
      
But not good enough to lead these meetings or live in himself.

Why is it that a Black Man was brilliant enough to do the first open heart surgery (Dr. Dan iel Hale Williams) and show the world how to get and preserve plasma (Dr. Charles Drew)? 

But not good enough to put a program in place where everyone can afford this surgery.

Why is it that a Black Man was creative enough to design an instrument (traffic light - Garrett Morgan) to bring multiple people (traffic) to a halt? 

But not seen creative enough to design a plan to bring all this unnecessary and worthless fighting between countries, to an end.

Why is it that a Black Man could create the soles (shoes - Jan Matzeliger) that people walk on every day? 
But not seen good enough to fill the shoes of a bad president.

Why is it that a Black Man was smart enough and brave enough to teach himself (Fredrick Douglas and Thomas Fuller - both  slaves) and others how to read, write and/or calculate math? 

But not seen smart enough and bold enough to calculate a platform to be President to a country that sure needs another first by us.

So you see my Brothers and Sisters, what I am saying is, let us not forgot our past which led us to our present and can definitely be the backbone to our future.  We were good enough, smart enough, creative enough, and bold enough then, so let us all give Obama the chance to show that we are still these things and more.  We all are as strong as our weakest link, so do not be that weak link that denies our people that chance to show we still can OVERCOME AND BE THE FIRST!   
THE PRESIDENT OF THESE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA !       

LET US ALL CONTINUE PRAYING THAT THIS PRESIDENT WILL ADHERE TO AND BE LED BY FAITH.   PASS THIS ON!       =


 

The Ruling Valve

Performer: Crimson Heart Replica 

Does the wounded part of your heart direct your life, or do the wishes of the soft untarnished part race to create your experiences? People say life is short.  But I say life is long.  Think of how many memories you have, how many people you've met, how many disappointments you've moved past, how many surprises have tickled your outlook?  And just think how many more of those are ahead.  Every aspect of life, major or minor, in every place you have lived, every job you've had, every failing or successful result from any effort, every person - asshole or angel, stranger, family member, or friend, has shaped and reshaped your choices for your life,  the lessons you've learned, and how you feel about yourself and others...in short your identity...your heart.  

Our hearts get molded and recolored over and over again, but over the course of this long LONG journey we start to see and feel a graphic pattern of our ruling valve; the one that shapes our perceptions of this journey.  Does your ruling valve restrict flow to protect the whole heart from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune*?  Or does it pump energetically and openly, absorbing those arrows with an enduring life flow of wonderment and delight?  We all know the latter creates ease, and the former creates pressure...and with enough of the former, follows an inevitable implosion of explosive destruction.  That valve would restrict any inclination for open exploration, including the idea that seeking to remain innocent is life affirming, rather than emotional suicide.  

Like most people, my valves work in shifts, and as I get older I restrict myself more frequently - which always comes about from

fotos © Monique MOGI Gilpin

fear of a myriad of things, including fear of wanting good things for myself. But my ever dreaming childlike valve keeps screaming to reign supreme.  I breathe better by searching for fair perspectives in things; mercy and forgiveness  amidst negativity, acceptance of the inexplicable or indelible hurts, and the insistence in dancing on common ground with myself and everyone I share space and time with.  Yes there are some serious assholes out there, and real life challenges to contend with, but I feel we must understand that those who behave like assholes are simply people who are emotionally restricted by fear; and that the mental and physical work required to overcome personal conflicts or life challenges are better sustained with an open flow of positive energy (if even at a distance), than by use of suffocating anger or despairing restrictions of the heart.

What you are choosing at this precise moment is what is ruling your life at present.  But life is long, so there's time, now - if there's a need - to change your ruling valve.  What you feel, is how you live. It's your heart, no one can break it, build it, or open it more completely than you. 

* from Shakespeare's Hamlet, III.i., To be, or not to be, - sililoquy
 

----

Crimson Heart Replica: Beautiful Mistake

"My music is my natural instinct, an illustration of immense emotion bleeding out from passionate hearts and souls." ~CHR 

---

To all my peeps who keep my ruling valve open. 

♡♡♡

"Sonnet 29" - Performed by  Rufus Wainright, Clips from Pride & Prejudice:

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

--William Shakespeare

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NOTE to Facebook Readers: 
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RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:   Warm Light and Love (AUG 2010)

                         I Broke Up With Self-Sabotage...(JUNE 2010)