Saturday, 26 June 2010

NEUE ROOTZ, Vol. I: The Start...finally

Exactly one year ago I set out on what was a highly anticipated journey: a family reunion 2 years in the making - organised by my dear aunt in Germany.

Twenty five members of my African/Czech-German family came together from all corners of the globe to seek out our roots in the Czech Republic where our common great great grandfather was from. It was indeed the journey of a lifetime.  But it was also the start of a new cycle, a turn onto a new path, with the intention of redirecting the purpose of my life, or just how I live it.  

Naturally I planned on documenting this reunion and creating some sort of project out of it.  But I also wanted to catalyze my photographic aspirations in the direction of fine arts and away from anything commercial.  So I also took my portfolio with me, with the intention hitting the galleries in the hopes of finding at least one curator who might be interested in showing my work.
I also applied to Oxford Trinity in London to train in TESOL (Teaching English As a Foreign Language)so that I could increase my ability to travel more and further, where I could explore new cultures and create new work.  Also if I could spend more time abroad, I thought, I could delve into my past with relatives and old friends across the oceans, who all could perhaps help 're-member' an old self I was convinced had been squelched by my New York City life. 

On the surface the following may seem a strange statement to make(since truly, I've never really lived a conventional life - always 'seeming' to follow every creative impulse), but I was seeking (via travel I guess) to purify my creative exchange with life, to learn to live more authentically, to experience my life rather than simply to survive it; to appreciate it and quietly direct it rather than to grade it according to external factors of failure and success.  

A year later, I'm still on that trip, and still living out of a suitcase.   Not everything went according to plan, as is life, right? And my travels have not been nearly as exotic as I dreamed...yet; but every minute of the last metamorphic 365 days have been filled with extraordinarily palpable, authentic experiences that continue to transform me daily with gratitude, wonderment, and love.  It was indeed a rather auspicious, or you could say fortuitous occasion that I would begin such a journey on a family reunion.  

As some of you may recall - I promised to blog about all this, but never quite got around to it.  But dammit, I can't let all my little videos and snapshots stay in the proverbial dust cabinet now can I?!  So at long last I begin to 'show' this story, though again, I won't promise consistency as current life events or 'whims' will continue to compete for blog space. So, after much adieu:


Thursday, 24 June 2010

SUPPORT POST: Vote for my sister for The Anchor on CVM-TV!!

Hey guys,


Asking for your support again - but this time for blood!  My sister has been sticking it out on a local television show host competition, The Anchor, on CVM television.  She's been competing for 3 months and now its down to the last vote.  

She's in the top three and after this week there will be a final two and that's it - so this really counts.  If you're in Jamaica - follow the instructions below and cast your vote as many times as you can! 

**Note: Votes are reset to zero every week - so you must vote this week for your support to count! AND - voting is unlimited!




Also my KOTE exhibit at Wijicoon is still up until Saturday - get over there before you miss it!



Thanks guys and much love

Monday, 14 June 2010

SeBiArt Showing Work at KOTE!

So, truth is I never heard of the annual KOTE (Kingston On The Edge) Art Festival until just a couple months ago, so I'm happy to be showing my work in it so soon after my knowledge of its existence. 

From everything I've heard from artists and supporters, this promises to be quite the exciting festival here in Kingston, Jamaica, with no shortage of events and exhibits in the visual and performing arts fields all over the city.


It's been a bit of a mad dash for the organizers and artists alike to get things together - but the seams are now sealed, and the festival kicks off this weekend, from June 18th - 26th. 

I will be showing (and selling!) a few pieces (from LIQUID, CrowDeD, and SMOKE series) with a small group of locally established photographers at the Wijicoon Gallery this Saturday:

 



For those of you who are here - I hope I see your ass at this show!  (*cheeeeeez*) And look how they embraced my MIND THE GAP image for the flyer.  (*cheese*cheese*) 


For the complete schedule of events and venues please check out the KOTE website or  http://www.kingstonontheedge.org/schedule/

Thursday, 10 June 2010

I broke up with Self-Sabotage...



...it wasn't working out.
 


Self-Sabotage wanted me to give all my free time and energy to others, and to leave none for myself


Self-Sabotage wanted me to cocoon myself in deprecating thoughts of incompetency and undeserved discounts of my dreams, thus  deafening me to the best wishes and praises of others


Self-Sabotage didn't want me to do what I truly wanted, it only wished for me to live in yearning all the day long


Self-Sabotage made me push people I loved away, made me late for important interviews, auditions, or opportunities. Sometimes it made me forget important appointments - or remember them and JUST CHOOSE not to show up.


Self-Sabotage has been known to keep me busy or absent from the lives of some I love causing me to miss out on bonding opportunities


Self-Sabotage always promises things or experiences for tomorrow but never lets me act today


Self-Sabotage lets me eat badly, too little, or too much, and tells me not to care about my appearance because no one is looking or cares


Self-Sabotage exhausted me to the point where I neglected my health, then made me spend money on needless things so I could be in debt and unable to help myself when I was in need and ready to care for myself


Self-Sabotage tells me I'm too fat, ugly, stupid, lazy, untalented and thoroughly unlovable

Self-Sabotage made me withdraw from others, and from living by telling me that I would be left behind anyway

But...




Self-Sabotage wasn't there for me when I woke up one day and realized I compromised my values;


It didn't care that I didn't 'live for today'; that I didn't 'follow my dreams'; that I would curl in my bed alone at night wondering if anyone will ever hold me again.


It tells me to trust no one, open up to no one, love no one - so that it can keep me to itself.


It's always there, always been there, but doesn't love me.


It advises me but never in my best interest. It always talks to me but always lies. It runs everywhere with me but keeps me stuck in the shit hole I dug for myself.

SO, one day, I stopped arguing with Self-Sabotage.




I stopped trying to outrun it, outsmart it, or fight it.



Instead, I turned and faced it, embraced it, ate it, and shat it out.


Alas, it really wasn't as powerful as I let myself believe it to be; but it lay lots of eggs though...in caviar numbers...and every time one hatches, I try to eat it before it grows. I can't let them grow to dominate my thoughts and actions - life is just less fun and more exhausting that way.



The truth is I'm full of love, open curiosity, and a zest for life.



I'm healthy, strong, talented, beautiful, damn smart, and highly adaptable - and I simply adore using these gifts in the service of love and progress with other loving, strong, beautiful, thoughtful, passionate, and open individuals.







Now I dare to live at the height I dream myself to be...with not one, but five amazing companions:




Compassion, Humility, Gratitude, Self-Respect, and Self-Love



_________________

+++Note about this post:

I wrote this during a very quiet period in the winter/spring of 2009. I was spending my days working quietly on my photography, dreaming, meditating, doing my yoga, spending time with loved ones.  But before I was able to post it - SB grabbed on to me for a last fling - spiraling me into a series of every habitual action listed above, condensed into a few short weeks.  I simply could not post this until I was sure the break up was for real.  

Everything I've been posting on this blog has in one way or another been tied to a most specific cleansing journey that I refer to often in my jottings.  Every living moment, in work or play, has been a conscious one designed to move me away from this beast, and the drive to stay clear in this has come from looking at these words, with the determination to post them exactly one year from the date I wrote them down.  

Now surely, there's all sorts of bullshit still to wade through - such is life, n'est pas?  But at least I say today with a smile and a little sass that SB calls no shots in this house anymore.  :) 

Take charge of your inner house!



"Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live."
 
~Anais Nin~ 
 


Friday, 4 June 2010

SUPPORT POST: YOUmanity begins with YOU

My darling friend and now X-hussy has the mind of a peace loving insane genius.  Everything he does leaves me shaking my head and wondering...'how?'  He's a fantastic actor and a wordsmith wonder who rivals the best Who's Line Is It Anyway heavyweights.  He's also a creative artist with the soul of a true humanitarian.  He's always involved in some effort or another to assist a group of individuals, or some poor animal to have an easier go at this thing called life.
In support of his efforts, and theirs, I wanted to post this here.  Check it and get one! Sarah Palin, Carol Channing and Lady GaGa Endorse!!!!  Haha!!



Thanks for the support.

100% of the profits from the sale of this YOUmanity T-shirt will be donated to the following organizations that help children:




The Babygirl Project is a part of FREE THE CHILDREN - show you LIKE them on Facebook.






YOUmanity
It begins with YOU

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