Some talk about a new project ...'BRANDED'

So finally - a chat about the creative part of the journey - or at least, the current inspiration for my artistic trippin'.  I know it seems like I've been vacationing and getting rewarded for it - haha.  But the truth is my last couple of trips to Jamaica have mainly been about work, work-work-work.  I have 3 new projects slow roasting on the burner now  - but the higher fire is under a series called BRANDED...therefore I AM which I started in the early Spring of this year.  

I've had a couple of delicious 'AHA' moments over the past year and a half regarding the use of social websites, and the maddeningly-genius-connectivity-of-a-near-socio-psychotic-reality that bothered the heck out of me but didn't seem to bother as many other people as I'd thought!  Of course I'm a player and therefore a part of this online global community shift, so it feels oddly dissociative to criticize the mediums that I use on a daily basis - but, my fascination with human complexities and my studies in psychology just dragged me into this analytical and critical discourse - and naturally I had to figure out how to create work out of it.  Hence the first 'exile' image of the series that I posted back in April:

BRANDED - Fool In Exile

BRANDED... is in essence, a rudimentary representation of the seemingly open and sophisticated, yet phatic self-branding we often create on social websites. It is comprised of a series of location portrait and nude photographs showing aphorisms or phrases on body painted subjects; a video short; and an interactive installation (a secret until showtime);  all serving as observations or portrayals of private thoughts and social fears of rejection, isolation, or persecution, - or conversely - social wishes of mass acceptance, popularity, power, and influence.  BRANDED... however, is raw on purpose. I don't want to create polished imagery because I want to test our senses to see if a crudely created image can still be visually, psychologically, and emotionally tangible. And, in this mass intangible coming together there seems to me to be a new collective isolation which begs at the very least, for some mental masturbation on the matter!

I have interviewed a number of people so far for this work, and in so doing I've been inspired to conduct a full scale survey on the usage habits of social websites (which will take me back to my school days when I had to do surveys for my social psych papers - ahhhh!).  It's so fascinating how we all have deeply rooted ideas about our identities and character traits, and how sharply these ideas sometimes contradict our online (onstage) personas.  And what I've found even more interesting is how some of us seem to need to express these altered parts of ourselves to jumpstart or finish our days!  But sadly, if we're not careful, we can be 'outed' but not-so-friendly 'friends'.

BRANDED - Beautiful Mistakes

Just a few days ago it was reported that a young man, shamed in the virtual world by his roommate, shared his last words on Facebook before jumping off the very real George Washington Bridge in New York.¹  And I just heard on the news this week that the first US internet withdrawal clinic (requiring physical check-ins, as opposed to that of virtual clinics -  a sardonic  contradiction) just opened up in Washington!  Actually the nation with the second largest web user population of 94 million*, China, beat the USA (the largest user pop) to this back in 2005, with the opening of a Web Addiction Center for children and young adults - after government officials  cited concerns that the internet was "eroding public morality". And speaking of that - don't you  find it troubling that face-to-face contact has not only decreased as a result of our online social lives, but with the acceptability of our web/iphone/bberry-time demands, many of us actively create that decrease in our scheduled time for hanging out with our friends?  Will the norm of staring into screens make us socially enept?  I kind of think so.  And as a friend of mine noted, and aptly too, even when we are in each others company - the unspoken understanding is that at least 50% of that time will be devoted to staying connected on our devices while chowing on brunch or in the theater watching a flick! 

I just stumbled upon yet another by-product of this phenomenal shift on the BBC news site where the new business concept of friendship rental services are now popping up in several countries - where, yes guys, people are renting 'friends' so they can have company in their actual lives since their real friends are too busy to go to the movies or check out a new restaurant, etc; like online dating if you will. Now some of you may say, 'that's never gonna take off' - 'those people need to get a life' - 'that shit is for looo-sers'; not far from the general protests to social websites in recent years too, until one by one...we conformed.  The point is - this is not my imagination (well duh Berette!)- the virtual world is so close to really taking over that  I have to ask if this 1984-BigBro-touchless-life-of-staring-into-lit-screens is really the way to get closer or to keep in touch (as we ironically justify it)??? Do we want to live in the matrix; I mean really? And though it may seem like it, no, this is not meant to be a seditious plea against the advertising mecca** of Facebook and the like; I mean, maybe all the entertaining online bonding and networking benefits outweigh the unfortunate  community expropriations*** - who knows? I'm just inspired to examine its effects, on me, my relationships, and social behavioral changes in general - for the good and for the bad.  And where Facebook is concerned, how can one effectively speak out against the Goliath of middle and upper class conformity of 500+ million??!!

BRANDED - Signs of Success

Where ever one stands on this topic (which may soon spark sensitive reactions in proportions akin to the other hot topics like religion, politics, and sex)the newly released film "the social network" from the brilliant mind of Aaron Sorkin, has really put the topic on the big thinking table now, which kinda feels like a notarization of my artistic response - heehee - so I am thus, in a rush to share this with you, on my blog, before the tangible gallery exhibit.  And, um, to the first obvious counter response here - touché.

BRANDED - Running for Stillness

 


More Reading:
 ¹ - UPDATE  Rutgers webcam spy Dharun Ravi sentenced to 30 days,  May 2012 
*Wired Magazine, Beijing Clinic Treats Web Addicts, July 3rd, 2005
**Bloomberg Businessweek, How Facebook Sells Your Friends, Sept 24, 2010 
***Net Addiction Souces



 © BRANDED (...therefore I AM)  in name, concept, and imagery are the copyrighted property of Berette Macaulay/SeBiArt.  All rights reserved.

SeBiArt upcoming show dates

Hey Jamrockers and New Yorkers,

I have a couple of shows coming up in both spots - soooo between the lot of you, some of you in either place should be able to check my work out on one of the dates!  Ha - mouthful!  I'm still high on back painkillers okay.   :)


Okay so first there's the JCDC/NGJ Traveling Showcase featuring all the award winning works from the National Visual Arts competition. And yep-yep - my award winning Liquid Trees image from this summer will be featured! HellZ-yeah! So if you missed it at the National Gallery - check it at one of these spots.

See Details here (click image for larger view): 

Next up is Critical Mass, a group exhibit at HeadQuarters Gallery in TriBeCa, NYC.  The event will be hosted by Art for Progress, featuring original works by 16 artists and curated by Natalie Kates.  All works will be for sale through the gallery and will be up for only two days!  

Details here (click image for larger view):  

As for my current creative efforts(funny that I rarely discuss my actual day-to-day-creative-work-life on my blog...I wonder why that is...hmmmmm....chin scratch...ANYhoo), I've been working on a series called BRANDED since the Spring.  Gonna dive into that in my next jotting.  

Awakening in the Illusion

I've pretty much done away with the old anal me, the organized, neat, over-planning freak  who had to be certain of every iota of everything in order to move forward with anything.  I'm paraphrasing my internal mantra here, but now each day I sludge or skip forward with this guiding belief:  


The only way to travel light is really to release the heavily packaged idea that you need to know everything.  Release into the unknown, dance with the uncertainty of fudged plans; only there lie the surprises of certain rewards. 


Lofty innit?  But you know, I've honestly found this to be quite true.  Just two years ago, I, and a couple witnesses in my life, would have laughed at the idea of how I live now.  Guilt and fear were my close allies in how I perceived my life or any possibilities that lay before me, and they informed how I would arm myself against disaster (though I did often contradict myself, thereby creating fine messes to clean up anyway).  As I shared with a dear friend the other day, it recently  dawned on me that I currently have stuff left in homes of friends and family in 3 regions of the world - and, unbelievably, I'm not bothered!  

That said - I've not brought this gypsy-footing around to the close I imagined I would have by now. The marvelous lesson and gift of detachment that I've gained with all this jumping around, has also enabled a not-so-complimentary trait of mine: indecisiveness.  It would appear that I no longer know how, and thus by default, where to land - which is beginning to concern me...but only a little bit. Not being tied to a calendar has filled my mostly unscheduled life with an immense amount of fulfilling activity, that ironically now seems to need a bit of structure.  With all this ambiguity about where to finally unpack my suitcases, I've been wondering a lot lately if the impending external pressure to do so means it's time to grow up, or if this is really the distance for me. 


I mean, I handle the business of adulthood as well as the next person I suppose; attending to duties and responsibilities with a fair amount of acceptance (haha) and efficiency, even aplomb on occasion!  Admittedly though, my hypersensitivity to the realities of post-childhood life will sometimes grip me with sheer panic beyond what I've observed in others.  But, I soldier on, as must we all! 


Given such observations, I must concede to the truth that I chase novelty at every turn, because I have yet to truly make peace with the sheer regularness of living. Does this mean that my development is stunted? Or could it mean simply, that I reach for constant expansion? I really fear that too much routine (though I synchronously yearn for it...) will put me to sleep, but who's to say really that I'm even awake? I could be just an indulgent escapist, justifying my ever changing mindset and physical location as necessary creative food for my artistic and spiritual development! 

What is it to be living in an illusion?  What is it to be awake?  Can we do both; can we "dream awake"?  Really, is there a satisfying  definition of either choice, and which therefore is the more beneficial and actionable prescription for a fulfilling life?  What has been a most amusing thing to me for the past couple of years, is the common mantra that "life is short", and its expression is often followed by an urging to figure out the 'how' and the correct 'how' now, so as to live it to the fullest.  But I think life is long, really long.  The changes are constant and the shifts can be huge, and if you're really paying attention and being honest with yourself, even the obvious answers are never really clear because they're simply not static enough to be always useful and ever true.  So - I have no idea what the right prescription is.  But maybe it's just choosing NOW and all that now has to offer, since all else - as new age philosophers and meta-physicists may propose - doesn't really exist and therefore doesn't matter...

London Tube 2007

Fighters Get Scared Too

My mother shared a most insightful passage she wrote on a brief mental respite at her work table, amidst a tsunami of files and papers where she is regularly found toiling over a paper, article, appeal,  or judgment for her clients or the human rights movement. She has spent the past 30+ years of her life working for and attending to the business of educating, supporting, and winning equal rights battles and lobbying for law reform for women, children, and all, in various organizations and international courts. 

Her sacrifices for the struggles of others are countless, and frankly the workload is mind boggling. Her efforts take her all over the world hearing stories and cases of unimaginable atrocities which she simply cannot abide, and so she barrels forth beyond any reasonable expectation and often with little reward or at personal cost, with a tireless dedication and optimism that floors me.  I could never hope to step into the shoes of such a woman, but I was touched to be let into a vulnerable outpouring of her heart in this impromptu passage that has thankfully been legally released for my blog (haha!):

My Struggle

They praise my work for the rights of women and children - in fact for the enjoyment of human rights by all.  But do they know?

Do they know the fears?

Do they know the doubts?

Do they know the nervousness?

Do they know the exhaustion? 

Do they know the passion and the energy it takes to overcome these things, and which push me on to do, to speak, to write, to present, to lobby, to participate?

Do they know the prayers I say for strength, for inspiration, for knowledge, for understanding, for patience, for consistency?

Do they know?

Do they even care to know?

Does it matter if they know, if it's what I must do to fulfill my life,  when I chose my struggle as the soul transporter of my purpose?

Margarette May Macaulay, July 11, 2010

SUPPORT POST: ArtsLawRoundUp

So usually I'm waxing on about feelings, creativity, shows, or some sort of community project. 

Now it's time for the business of art people, and no better way to get yourself prepared than to arm yourself with knowledge, specifically legal facts and rights pertaining to your work.  I'm talkin' copyright issues, contracts, licensing, advertising, creative commons, rights to credit, patents, etc, etc, et al.  

My dear friend Justin Lynch, attorney-at-law AND pianist AND dancer (yes, you read that right) started a blog that addresses all these issues factually, patiently, humoursly, and thoroughly (and always with additional sources) which will leave you less frightened and better armed for protecting your work.  

Leap off this page, check it, and Subscribe!  Where else are you gonna get legal advice from a lawyer who is also an artist?!

 

If...Just for Comfort

Simply aiming for comfort has come to be seen as shooting low, or settling for less - especially in careers, and certainly in relationships.  Since we know I choose constant change and upheaval in the former, I mean heretofore to focus on the latter.  

At present (for this may change), I propose that just because someone impresses you doesn't mean they will be the next love of your life.  And if it looks like this miracle may not be the case, do you walk?  'Yes' some of you may say, but this is what defines the youthful heart I think, which is easily impressed by the magnetic qualities of the object of desire and equating this to that of undeniable love.  
When you 'grow up', and have enough affairs in life however, you learn that a person can be endlessly interesting yet never grips your heart, while a most ordinary soul can enchant you for life.  

Mutual admiration of the hot chemical kind  offers experiences or delights  with exciting fitful tales, but at a certain age, is this height of elation a necessary experience, let alone an automatic inclusion in our personal narratives? Evolutionary biology and psychology show that the timing of our most heated affairs and loves are aligned perfectly with our most fertile, hormonal, energetic years - when we are blind enough to create or believe the singularly aimed love-hype of 'forever after', and, also  whilst we are fit enough for the turmoil all that preposterous or near pathological energy often leaves in its wake.   

We are all taught either directly or indirectly from a young age that we should look for the impossible in a mate; find a  soul that 'completes' us, challenges and delights us, loves us endlessly, unconditionally, AND should be resident in a preternaturally attractive body which should remain that way...for eternity; any thing less being a most unsettling compromise. And no matter how you may have started out: in a bewilderingly beautiful and adrenalized love affair, or, a befouling catastophic event  - you still, in youth, believe this, wish, hope, and look for this tall tale whether you care to admit it or not. 

Then a bit more life happens. And it becomes distastefully apparent that alas, eternity in life (pardon the paradox, but it's what the fairy tales sell, right?), let alone with another, is not meant for some of us mere mortals.   And with one disappointing reality check (aka highway-of-love-heart-wreck) after another, we eventually rewrite the fantasy, the very tale that perhaps set the blind spots in place for all those collisions.

We retreat, we heal, we spend time with ourselves, we create some quiet, and then...we don't look; rather we hold exclusively open auditions (I know, oxymoron again) for someone to share the quiet with.  We become satisfied with the idea of someone filling a less complex role than 'soul mate' or 'self-completer'; we find we can only open up to  someone who is clear, calm, direct, and free of the indefatigable grand arias of yada-forever-bull-cah-cah; you know, someone who can just keep it real.  And if we find them, we herald them publicly as a wholesome catch summed up simply as "there's just no drama."  

I scream on my behalf on this one.  Heaven knows, the gods have ensured throughout my life and so therefore know, my great fortune in love, or at least, in affairs.  I have swept, and been swept off my feet by dashing novas in ways meant only for the movies to be sure, and much to the envy of those who've heard or witnessed my inordinately epic (and sometimes ridiculous) romances.  But - but, at this point the only thing I look for in my new tailor-made fantasies can be satisfied by far less frills, pomp, and unsustainable circumstance. Of course I still want fun adventures, but I also want to relax while having them.  I just want to be...sigh...comfortable.

If... 

If I were but a leaf
    falling from the burdened weight of your weary limbs,
I would waft my way
    through the spaces of your turbulent sways
Leaving drops of my chlorophyll spies
    to fill your horizon with shades of new life.

But here I stick to my heavy branch
    Too weary to detach
My stems uncertain, heaving doubtful sighs;
   eyes blinded by colourless promises in cloudless skies,

Hope floats beyond the shifting spaces,        

    hiding plainly from our weeping lies.

PS. Nothing to do with the topic at hand but, 

here's a great relaxation technique...rock balancing.  

seriously - try it.  

:)

Warm Light and Love

Vanity and fear are based

on a false idea of self that cannot be nurtured or maintained.

It only consumes the essence of the soul,

beating the heart into stone cold submission of blinding parasites.

Staying true keeps the heart open, calm, graciously clear-sighted, and warm;

this happens only through service and love.

foto by SeBiArt - Hellshire Heights, JA

thanks to my friends for keeping me warm...

originally posted on Facebook, August 2010

Ha - I got support like Obama used to have! Lol

I can't believe four days have gone by and I've uttered barely a word about this.  Reason?  Well quite honestly, it's a sum of part shock, part stomach churning fear of being too openly overjoyed, and part life pressing on, despite ample reason for a gracious and gleeful pause to digest my recent blessings.  So for those of you (not on Facebook - haha) who have not yet heard...I actually won some nice prizes at the JCDC* Visual Arts Ceremony and opening exhibition** this past Sunday at the National Gallery of Jamaica:

A Silver Medal, and Sectional Prize and Trophy for Photography

LIQUID Trees # 033, Adult Photography Sectional Prize and Trophy

First Announcement

mi madre, me, & my nephew 

the sisters

I'm so grateful for such recognition and great fortune, and I was even more floored by the support and well wishes from my family, friends, and colleagues.  So much love!  It was quite the Cinderella experience, and while I have an extroverted alter-ego, she was nowhere to be found; rather my awkward introverted being showed up instead, and spent much of the afternoon looking like a deer on happy weed caught in headlights. As such - I hereby extend my apologies to anyone present that day who suffered incoherent babbles or incompleted sentences or greetings from me - including the videographer who shot my interview. CRINGE, CRINGE, oh CRINGE!  With the hugs and kisses and congrats flying at me at airjet speeds, it couldn't have gone any other way. LOL. 

Me and my darling nephew Sekai, who kept my nerves in check for the entire ceremony.

Photographer Jeremy Francis (foreground) and proud dad, captures his daughter's win - fellow photographer and medal winner Joanna Francis 

Silver Medal time (for vis-arts)!! Everything getting muffled...room spinning...wasn't sure what was going on.

Shared sectional prize with Julian N. Dadag for Adult Photgraphy...AND...Trophy Time!! Just walking on clouds and speaking in tongues at this point - Lol

Naturally Sekai was the safe keeper for the thing!

My Uncle Randy lookin' proud.  :)

Photographer and friend, Will I Am (William Richards) - was so happy he was there! Yo - check out this cat's work...SICK!!!! 

All breath in; nothing going out; felt like I was underwater - haha!

Sister B and darling Seyena and Tidjane

Life has really rewarded me in recent months, so I must say in closing, the maddening panic attacks were well worth it. Currently buried in work on new projects and submission deadlines, and yep, panic attacks.  Bring it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you UNIVERSE and  all you beautiful beings in it!

And finally, what's a victory report without that sophisticated car park pic by the tent generator?

*JCDC - Jamaica Cultural Development Commission

** Exhibition will be up at the National Gallery until August 28th.  Admission is free, gallery hours 10am - 4pm weekdays, 10am -3pm on Saturdays.  Information 876-922-1561.

 

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:                                         SeBiArt Getting Award for LIQUID (July 2010)

                                         I Friggin Won!!!!! Ha - I got support like Obama!! lol! (Feb 2008)

Ideas that Boggle the Mind

So I'm working on a new series called BRANDED which involves a little bit of acrylic paint scribbles and dabs on my models, a bit but not too messy.  A friend of mind just sent me some samples of an artist doing the same - except she, Alexa Meade, is going WAY beyond scribbles and dabs.  She's creating fully developed expressionistic paintings on live models and real objects. In an artistic time when everyone is pushing flat art into 3-D multimedia works, she's taking 3-D down to 2!  It's seriously the most incredible new innovation of a familiar medium that I've seen in a while - I'm completely blown away.  Check it out - AND her website. 

ADDITION July 24th, 2010

A friend of mine just reminded me (cuz I'm a forgetful crackhead apparently), that I kinda experimented with this a couple years ago (albeit conceptually different and less developed than this example) but still successful in that I won a prize for it!  :)  Do you remember SPLIT? 

 

SeBiArt Getting Award for LIQUID

I'm so happy and ridiculously excited to share this with you!  I found out this week  that I am an awardee for the JCDC/NDG* National Visual Arts competition!  I submitted 3 large pieces from my LIQUID Trees series and thank GOD they liked them.  Yipppeeeeeeee! I don't know what the award will be exactly - but I'm happy for the recognition nonetheless - it's been a while since I won anything!

The award ceremony details are in the poster below.  Calling all of you in Jamaica to come out and support.  There will be voting at the ceremony for the 'Public Favourite' Cash and Trophy prize.  I wouldn't mind walking away with that too!  HolleR.  

Feeling love from the universe SO MUCH right now.  See you there!

                  
                  *

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:  

                                         Ha - I got support like Obama used to have! lol (July 2010)

                                         SeBiArt Getting Award for LIQUID (July 2010)
                                                  I Friggin Won!!!!! Ha - I got support like Obama!! lol! (Feb 2008)

 

ENDGAME

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.~  

When the space for open discourse and mutual understanding and respect have been eroded by stubborn self-righteousness on all sides, how do you carve out a new opening?

The extent of any the damage and temperamental pollution in any personal conflict always determines how much work needs to be done to clear the air. It often takes courage, a sense of safety and trust, and an open and interested heart to look at your part in the mess, to admit to it, and to let yourself receive the same from the other. 

I'm no fan of conflict (as most of us aren't - ha!).  It's upsetting, and my default is either to run; and if I stay, it is to express, to listen, to be heard, to concede, and to attempt to reach across the fence with palms up - so as to arrive at an even clearer and heightened space in my relationships.  I've been told by some that this is courage, by others, that it's cowardly, and by others still, that it's a crock of unrealistic new-age arrogant bullshit. 

Gandhi said that "anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding", that "anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is the monster that swallows it up".  I couldn't agree more.  But intolerance I feel is perhaps the worst ingredient of all.  If someone pisses you off, that's fine, we're human, and as fallible individuals, we gather baggage, we create unrealistic expectations of others, and we disagree on many matters of conduct.  But it's how we rise and fall from our tirades of perceived rejection that sets the lasting impression of our character, and creates the clearings or obstacles to personal growth and inner peace. 

It is important to ask: when the inner warrior stops swinging, is it because you subdued your foe, or because you subdued yourself? Did you speak more, or listen more?  Did you seek to be understood, ...or to understand? What did you say, what did you hear, what did you learn? Did you walk away with a more open heart, or with declarations of justified intolerance? Do you feel better at the end of a fray only if the other acquiesced to your point of view?  Are you committed to winning only by being right?   And what's the prize exactly?  Sometimes it feels great to be right, sure, but in the short term. If there was little risk or sacrifice of ego in acquiring it though - then haven't we actually lost? I love a good debate, and I'm passionate about my convictions, and I've been rightly accused of being condescending at times.  But pertaining to personal differences, no matter the position I have, or the facade I attempt to create, I inevitably will carry the burden of knowing when my 'right' was actually wrong. Not fun at all.

We must be honest about the hurt of having our toes crushed, for certain, but we can only 'win' new ground by also accepting our part in the dance, otherwise our growth is stunted and our tempers remain unsettled. It's hard work to cry, and then to smile, and then to offer love when we are confronted with rejection, but the rewards of doing so earn far more trust and respect, if not from your opponent, at least then for yourself. 
  

Conversely, at times it's best to ration our exposure to incompatible souls.  Sometimes it's best to concede and accept unfavourable outcomes as some souls are immutable, or even dangerous in their erruptions. Whenever I arrive at such a juncture, I end up asking: Is this truly enlightenment and acceptance? Is it brave? Or is it a wimpy act of avoidance for the sake of peace?  I'm not always sure.

Either way, I think it's ultimately more comfortable to surrender my pride, and take personal responsibility in the end.  I'm inspired by the intense need to create safety through honest disclosure of my fears, concerns, needs, and disappointments, in the hope that this may create a safe space for others to do the same. For peaceful relationships? Yes. For a desire to live in love? Absolutely!  In the end, it's the only play on this spacious board of life that I can sleep with.  

On a frivolous note...the mushrooms came back!

And look how happy SpongeBob is despite being under seige!

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. 
~Martin Luther King, Jr.~ 

reminiscence

         

           Cautiously polite

He guided me to the edge of

           the abyss

Looking through me

My back to infinity

He pushed me towards the edge

           with a kiss

His eyes closed as I fell into space

                           

Spreading my wings 

           in a freedom flight

           and rising

           he fell onto my shoulders

Then cradled by the span of my feathered hopes

We flew down... 

by Berette Macaulay