NEUE ROOTZ, Vol. I: The Start...finally

Exactly one year ago I set out on what was a highly anticipated journey: a family reunion 2 years in the making - organised by my dear aunt in Germany.

Twenty five members of my African/Czech-German family came together from all corners of the globe to seek out our roots in the Czech Republic where our common great great grandfather was from. It was indeed the journey of a lifetime.  But it was also the start of a new cycle, a turn onto a new path, with the intention of redirecting the purpose of my life, or just how I live it.  

Naturally I planned on documenting this reunion and creating some sort of project out of it.  But I also wanted to catalyze my photographic aspirations in the direction of fine arts and away from anything commercial.  So I also took my portfolio with me, with the intention hitting the galleries in the hopes of finding at least one curator who might be interested in showing my work.

I also applied to Oxford Trinity in London to train in TESOL (Teaching English As a Foreign Language)so that I could increase my ability to travel more and further, where I could explore new cultures and create new work.  Also if I could spend more time abroad, I thought, I could delve into my past with relatives and old friends across the oceans, who all could perhaps help 're-member' an old self I was convinced had been squelched by my New York City life. 

On the surface the following may seem a strange statement to make(since truly, I've never really lived a conventional life - always 'seeming' to follow every creative impulse), but I was seeking (via travel I guess) to purify my creative exchange with life, to learn to live more authentically, to experience my life rather than simply to survive it; to appreciate it and quietly direct it rather than to grade it according to external factors of failure and success.  

A year later, I'm still on that trip, and still living out of a suitcase.   Not everything went according to plan, as is life, right? And my travels have not been nearly as exotic as I dreamed...yet; but every minute of the last metamorphic 365 days have been filled with extraordinarily palpable, authentic experiences that continue to transform me daily with gratitude, wonderment, and love.  It was indeed a rather auspicious, or you could say fortuitous occasion that I would begin such a journey on a family reunion.  

As some of you may recall - I promised to blog about all this, but never quite got around to it.  But dammit, I can't let all my little videos and snapshots stay in the proverbial dust cabinet now can I?!  So at long last I begin to 'show' this story, though again, I won't promise consistency as current life events or 'whims' will continue to compete for blog space. So, after much adieu:

Neue Rootz Vol. I



Neue Rootz, Vol. I from SeBiArt on Vimeo.

RELATED JOURNEY POST:  In a final analysis...the story can now begin (Oct 2009)

SUPPORT POST: Vote for my sister for The Anchor on CVM-TV!!

Hey guys,


Asking for your support again - but this time for blood!  My sister has been sticking it out on a local television show host competition, The Anchor, on CVM television.  She's been competing for 3 months and now its down to the last vote.  

She's in the top three and after this week there will be a final two and that's it - so this really counts.  If you're in Jamaica - follow the instructions below and cast your vote as many times as you can! 

**Note: Votes are reset to zero every week - so you must vote this week for your support to count! AND - voting is unlimited!

Also my KOTE exhibit at Wijicoon is still up until Saturday - get over there before you miss it!

Thanks guys and much love

SeBiArt Showing Work at KOTE!

So, truth is I never heard of the annual KOTE (Kingston On The Edge) Art Festival until just a couple months ago, so I'm happy to be showing my work in it so soon after my knowledge of its existence. 

From everything I've heard from artists and supporters, this promises to be quite the exciting festival here in Kingston, Jamaica, with no shortage of events and exhibits in the visual and performing arts fields all over the city.

It's been a bit of a mad dash for the organizers and artists alike to get things together - but the seams are now sealed, and the festival kicks off this weekend, from June 18th - 26th. 

I will be showing (and selling!) a few pieces (from LIQUID, CrowDeD, and SMOKE series) with a small group of locally established photographers at the Wijicoon Gallery this Saturday:

 

For those of you who are here - I hope I see your ass at this show!  (*cheeeeeez*) And look how they embraced my MIND THE GAP image for the flyer.  (*cheese*cheese*) 

For the complete schedule of events and venues please check out the KOTE website or  http://www.kingstonontheedge.org/schedule/

I broke up with Self-Sabotage...

...it wasn't working out.
 

Self-Sabotage wanted me to give all my free time and energy to others, and to leave none for myself

Self-Sabotage wanted me to cocoon myself in deprecating thoughts of incompetency and undeserved discounts of my dreams, thus  deafening me to the best wishes and praises of others

Self-Sabotage didn't want me to do what I truly wanted, it only wished for me to live in yearning all the day long

Self-Sabotage made me push people I loved away, made me late for important interviews, auditions, or opportunities. Sometimes it made me forget important appointments - or remember them and JUST CHOOSE not to show up.

Self-Sabotage has been known to keep me busy or absent from the lives of some I love causing me to miss out on bonding opportunities

Self-Sabotage always promises things or experiences for tomorrow but never lets me act today

Self-Sabotage lets me eat badly, too little, or too much, and tells me not to care about my appearance because no one is looking or cares

Self-Sabotage exhausted me to the point where I neglected my health, then made me spend money on needless things so I could be in debt and unable to help myself when I was in need and ready to care for myself

Self-Sabotage tells me I'm too fat, ugly, stupid, lazy, untalented and thoroughly unlovable

Self-Sabotage made me withdraw from others, and from living by telling me that I would be left behind anyway

But...

Self-Sabotage wasn't there for me when I woke up one day and realized I compromised my values;

It didn't care that I didn't 'live for today'; that I didn't 'follow my dreams'; that I would curl in my bed alone at night wondering if anyone will ever hold me again.

It tells me to trust no one, open up to no one, love no one - so that it can keep me to itself.

It's always there, always been there, but doesn't love me.

It advises me but never in my best interest. It always talks to me but always lies. It runs everywhere with me but keeps me stuck in the shit hole I dug for myself.

SO, one day, I stopped arguing with Self-Sabotage.

I stopped trying to outrun it, outsmart it, or fight it.

Instead, I turned and faced it, embraced it, ate it, and shat it out.

Alas, it really wasn't as powerful as I let myself believe it to be; but it lay lots of eggs though...in caviar numbers...and every time one hatches, I try to eat it before it grows. I can't let them grow to dominate my thoughts and actions - life is just less fun and more exhausting that way.

The truth is I'm full of love, open curiosity, and a zest for life.

I'm healthy, strong, talented, beautiful, damn smart, and highly adaptable - and I simply adore using these gifts in the service of love and progress with other loving, strong, beautiful, thoughtful, passionate, and open individuals.

Now I dare to live at the height I dream myself to be...with not one, but five amazing companions:

Compassion, Humility, Gratitude, Self-Respect, and Self-Love

_________________

+++Note about this post:

I wrote this during a very quiet period in the winter/spring of 2009. I was spending my days working quietly on my photography, dreaming, meditating, doing my yoga, spending time with loved ones.  But before I was able to post it - SB grabbed on to me for a last fling - spiraling me into a series of every habitual action listed above, condensed into a few short weeks.  I simply could not post this until I was sure the break up was for real.  

Everything I've been posting on this blog has in one way or another been tied to a most specific cleansing journey that I refer to often in my jottings.  Every living moment, in work or play, has been a conscious one designed to move me away from this beast, and the drive to stay clear in this has come from looking at these words, with the determination to post them exactly one year from the date I wrote them down.  

Now surely, there's all sorts of bullshit still to wade through - such is life, n'est pas?  But at least I say today with a smile and a little sass that SB calls no shots in this house anymore.  :) 

Take charge of your inner house!

"Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live."
 
~Anais Nin~ 
 

SUPPORT POST: YOUmanity begins with YOU

My darling friend and now X-hussy has the mind of a peace loving insane genius.  Everything he does leaves me shaking my head and wondering...'how?'  He's a fantastic actor and a wordsmith wonder who rivals the best Who's Line Is It Anyway heavyweights.  He's also a creative artist with the soul of a true humanitarian.  He's always involved in some effort or another to assist a group of individuals, or some poor animal to have an easier go at this thing called life.

In support of his efforts, and theirs, I wanted to post this here.  Check it and get one! Sarah Palin, Carol Channing and Lady GaGa Endorse!!!!  Haha!!

Thanks for the support.

100% of the profits from the sale of this YOUmanity T-shirt will be donated to the following organizations that help children:

The Babygirl Project is a part of FREE THE CHILDREN - show you LIKE them on Facebook.

YOUmanity

It begins with YOU

SOLE of REDEMPTION: Majesty of the Little Things

Over the course of one’s life you accumulate a lot of shoes – and many of them reveal an awful lot about who you are or who you’re trying to be and most importantly, they are obvious markers of what races you’re running or which ones you fit into (or not).   I’ve been tossing out a lot of shoes lately – not so much because of a bad fit, but rather because I bought a few that were simply uncomfortable. 

In my travels over the past year I’ve found a few new pairs in Europe (UK and Germany) and back home in Jamaica that fit really well.  Particularly back in Jamaica, the fit was so good that I broke out into a sprint.  My life over the past few months has taken on the most unpredictable direction which has focused my most recent running efforts into producing and possibly showing my new photographic projects there.

I’ve been so taken by the open generousity, warmth, beauty, and ease of temperament of my fellow Jamaicans, which frankly I’d long forgotten in my fast-and-furious-singular-ambitious-race-for-survival in New York.  I will admit that over the years, I’ve become a New Yorker in every sense, I correlate my needs and resources at a constant pace of supreme urgency just as a matter of course, and being confronted by anything slower is enough to cause a crash.  And crash I did, from utter exhaustion into a necessarily new (though old and familiar) way of navigating the path.  

Hanging out with friends and family needn’t be as complicated as arranging a triple by-pass surgery with the world’s most sought after surgeon.  In Jamaica, I experienced a social ease that seemed to be free of self-importance - free of attachment to busy schedules. I experienced myself at ease, which as odd as this may be to say about oneself, is quite the novelty! The scene in Kingston has changed immensely since my youthful days there.  I shamefully admit now that I left Jamaica thinking it was limited in its cultural views and therefore in its expression and growth – and I’ve never been more wrong about anything in my life. 

          Now that I’ve become, for all intents and purposes, a complete tourist, when I travel there my eyes are always open to every new development, and to my absolute wonderment and delight, there have been many.   Thriving galleries (you must check out the newly renovated National Gallery!), art fairs and festivals offer new avenues of visual and performing art expression with several exhibition and performance spaces for new talent to share their creations (eg. Kingston on the Edge [KOTE] & Liguanea Art Festival).  Gorgeous new hotels with lovely lounges for evening gatherings (Backgammon nights, and lunch at Spanish Court Hotel - winner!  thanks Mickey!), which are among the many nightlife options that even the New York Times referred to last November as a happening scene.  There is a thriving café and restaurant culture with more culinary explorations than were ever available in my day, and a huge fashion explosion (see Caribbean Fashion week) with promising collaborations of new and established talent from all over the Caribbean and the world.  There are also open venues for new writers to present, publish, and sell their works (see Bookphilia). And all this, against the backdrop of an incredibly beautiful, tropical, mountainous paradise with fun, gregarious, talented, sexy, beautiful people.  And now all this seems to be hanging in the balance of a few individuals who have all but set the capital on proverbial fire.  

Jamaica for all its glaring beauty has unfortunate glaring socio-economic challenges that have created hot ground under the shoes of its citizens.  With the pending extradition of the alleged drug and arms trafficker Christopher “Dudus” Coke, the descending hell of his supporters to prevent his arrest has now sent my fellow Jamaicans running for the hills before a 6pm curfew.  State of Emergency?! My God my mind is beating louder than my heart.  Being a West African born girl, I know what that means in perhaps a more palpable way than even my friends who are currently in the middle of this fray.  I can’t help but project my knowledge of a particular type of national unrest onto this my other home.   Ironically "Dudus" is to be extradited to my third home, New York City. 

Parallel to this is the irony that for some time now the citizens of Jamaica have been less than pleased, not only with the government and it’s handling of the country and this current set of circumstances concerning “Dudus” but also with the Police Forces – some calling for their total disbandment and replacement.  I unfortunately don’t have a fully informed opinion on  much of this to be perfectly honest.  I am an artist, and a dreamer; I purposely ride in a bubble, and currently with really comfy shoes that want to run home. 

The irony is that with the intensity of our current civil unrest – our very safety now relies completely on those whom we have spent all this time criticizing.  The burden and full extent of accountability of the reasons behind this not withstanding, I’m sure of this much, we can only pray for and support those who are literally laying their lives on the line to keep our loved ones safe.  The run in the streets now is almost like a race for redemption, and their bloodstained soles, in my dreaming mind, serve only to clear the path for clean new ground upon which we can tread together slowly, calmly, and stain-free to a better, brighter, and united future.  

May the Universal Love of Life Redeem Our Majestic Little Island

+ Photos of local children and Bonsai trees (courtesy of award winning Bonsai artist Kynan Cooke) in Kingston, Jamaica  – all beautiful little things, that with loving care, bend and grow and thrive in little spaces with grand elegance.  

++ For more on hot gathering spots, arts & entertainment, and open discourse on current cultural tides in Kingston - YardEdge.net is pretty much the best resource for listings on everything happening now.  Check it and bookmark it. 

+++ Wise appeals from Bob, Black Uhuru, Shabba, Buju, and Matisyahu:

Bob Marley - Ambush In The Night

 

Black Uhuru - Solidarity



Shabba Ranks - Roots and Culture

Buju Banton - Cowboy/Curfew

Matisyahu - One Day (LIVE Sirrus performance with beatboxing)

We Hope

   We Pray

      We Clamour for Peace

                     for Truth

                       for Justice

                         for Unity

                        AS A NATION 

~Mystic Urchin~

SeBiArt Film Screening in San Francisco!

Hey guys,

Real quick and at the last minute too (what a surprise!)  - my little creative short is getting screened at the AFP's Shorts & Beats Festival Vol VI in San Francisco this weekend! 

The festival is at PROJECT ONE (http://www.p1sf.com/) and will feature several shorts from emerging and established filmmakers and video artists from NYC and SF.  The film program is curated by award winning filmmaker Daniel Maldonado of Gashouse Films. There will also be nightlong interludes of deep & funky tunes spun by New York and San Fran DJs.    Fun times!  If you're there - check out the flyer on info for tickets. 

Thanks for supportin'!  

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS: LABYRINTH of FOREVER: Doorway for the Spirit Chasers (Feb 2010)

MOTHER

This is for the special mothers in my life - beginning with, and inspired by the one who gave me life.

You are the Root of All. 
You are the Spirit. 
You crystalize all intentions.

Thank you for being the blessing that you are. 
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for your guidance.
Thank you for your open heart and boundless vision.
Thank you for your support.
Thank you for your forgiveness.
Thank you for your strength.
Thank you for your fearlessness.
Thank you for my values.
Thank you for your vulnerability and trust.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for your laugh.
Thank you for my freedom.
Thank you for your incomprehensible efforts to make my world and THE world a better place for all God's children.
Thank you for your unconditional love.
Thank you for your example.
Thank you for being you.
Thank GOD for you.

Happy Mothers Day
Eternal Love

xoxo

Ku-ing the States of Fear

 "I had a fool's confidence..." that a life conducted openly, honestly, and earnestly would keep the fear at bay.  

In yesterday's BUSH society, the main accomplishment was the creation of a new world energy now governed by fear and mistrust; our basic sense of community now demoralized by it; so much so that seeming good intentions and kindness are not expected and therefore not trusted.  In fact when it is offered, suspicion, or counter offers in the form of passive aggression seem to be standard responses.  

On this playing field, there's no teamwork.  We pull away from each other, pull into ourselves, into our shells where we think its safe.  But there's the rub.  Inside the shell we starve ourselves of touch, kind sounds, support, affection, and thus good fortune that can only come from supportive communities.  As fearful beings we only support our egotistical inner demons who see others as enemies of our progress. 

But there are no enemies; only friends who live in fear as we do.  Ironic that in fear we strive to be alone, rather than to reach out to protect and hold each other up.  This really pisses me off, but most of the time it just disappoints and saddens me.  However, all of the time I want to be, so I rebel by trying to be, a confident fool who just wants to be playing with YOU in the rain...fearlessly.

"Somehow Crazy"
Sun sets on our love
So intense and then nothing
Funny how it dies.

"venge-full"
Takes two to refill
(One to distract, two to kill)
The space left by one

~ Mystic Urchin~

SeBiArt at the JA Nat'l Gallery: Auction for Haiti

Hey guys,

This is a super quick post/invite for you to come out and support Art Auction for Haiti - a collaborative charity event organised by the Edna Manley foundation, the National Gallery of Jamaica, Hi-Qo Galleries, Harmony Hall, the Mutual Gallery and Art Centre, and Roktowa. 

Previews begin this Wednesday, April 14th at the National Gallery, and the Auction will be open for bidding on Sunday, April 18th.

  
There will be work in a number of mediums, from quite a few important Jamaican artists for sale - in aid of Haitian art recovery and reconstruction efforts in Haiti.  

The preview will be open through the week and I have two pieces in the auction - earlier works from the CrowDeD series. 

The Catalogue is now online.

Please come out and support and BUY something! 

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:

Let Go: While Haiti Cries, We Must Try (Jan 2010)

Let Go II: Ties That Bind (Jan 2010) 

Apathy as Peace of Mind?

I’m becoming increasingly concerned by the threatening possibility that the only way to stay calm these days, is quite simply to withdraw into apathy, to block the incomprehensible amount of flying bullshit from every direction.

As soon as I’m anywhere near disingenuous or needlessly competitive self aggrandizing energy, or a TV set, or in earshot of any radio station tuned to just about ANY news station, my brain literally begins to block sound and light, and I start tunneling all mental and physical efforts toward escape.

Currently tangled in the net...

Or maybe this is the detritus result, a remnant sensitivity if you will, to ditching anti-anxiety pills in order to preserve my sanity, memory, and sense of control over my faculties.

Long sigh into the vastness...  

People who need health care in America are fighting against its provision;  one of the world’s oldest and certainly one of the largest organizations - the Catholic Church - is cracking under child abuse scandal and scrutiny now directly hitting the leader itself; the US Census Bureau has decided to offer me the choice to be called a Negro; we seek refuge via Facebook-Twitter-Texting-big screen/little screen love-with-no-talking-or-touching but constant me-me-me marketing; earthquakes are shaking up shit everywhere; China is buying up everything and we have a Tea Party; Israel and Palestine… … …; we're in a recession but people are getting richer...; the Congo – the Congo – the Congo – anybody?; and on and on and on… And here I am, in need of creative inspiration, desperately gripping to the idea that photography of the non-journalistic kind is important.  Humpf. 

Deep breath…

TV/Radio/PC ga-ga off.

Click wheel activated.

Headphones in, vital stats normalizing.

Smilin' - in Jamaica.

Nap time. 

The Natural Guide

Springtime comes around and usually we just go with the inner directive to clean out stuff, reassess the place we currently inhabit - both literally and figuratively, and then plot new courses and forge forward with a renewed spirit and sense of clarity. 

Funny that we have the tradition of setting resolutions at the turn of the new year instead of at the changing of the seasons; seems our inner clock is set to do it a quarter of the way in, no?

What appears to be key though, is to quiet the conditioned mind and allow the space to let your beauty emerge, to give permission to your drives and inclinations to carve out the individual spot that brings you closer to the daring truth of new.  

Here's to plunging into the colourful blooming of you, no matter how dry the conditions. 

"It's hard enough figuring out who you are - why mess that up by trying to be someone else?  Who you are is both unique and new, and i may be just what the world needs right now.  Remember that the next time you do something that doesn't feel right to you."

~ Willie Nelson~ 

*Images of a bonsai Ebony Tree in bloom, despite current dry conditions.