Ha - I got support like Obama used to have! Lol

I can't believe four days have gone by and I've uttered barely a word about this.  Reason?  Well quite honestly, it's a sum of part shock, part stomach churning fear of being too openly overjoyed, and part life pressing on, despite ample reason for a gracious and gleeful pause to digest my recent blessings.  So for those of you (not on Facebook - haha) who have not yet heard...I actually won some nice prizes at the JCDC* Visual Arts Ceremony and opening exhibition** this past Sunday at the National Gallery of Jamaica:

A Silver Medal, and Sectional Prize and Trophy for Photography

LIQUID Trees # 033, Adult Photography Sectional Prize and Trophy

First Announcement

mi madre, me, & my nephew 

the sisters

I'm so grateful for such recognition and great fortune, and I was even more floored by the support and well wishes from my family, friends, and colleagues.  So much love!  It was quite the Cinderella experience, and while I have an extroverted alter-ego, she was nowhere to be found; rather my awkward introverted being showed up instead, and spent much of the afternoon looking like a deer on happy weed caught in headlights. As such - I hereby extend my apologies to anyone present that day who suffered incoherent babbles or incompleted sentences or greetings from me - including the videographer who shot my interview. CRINGE, CRINGE, oh CRINGE!  With the hugs and kisses and congrats flying at me at airjet speeds, it couldn't have gone any other way. LOL. 

Me and my darling nephew Sekai, who kept my nerves in check for the entire ceremony.

Photographer Jeremy Francis (foreground) and proud dad, captures his daughter's win - fellow photographer and medal winner Joanna Francis 

Silver Medal time (for vis-arts)!! Everything getting muffled...room spinning...wasn't sure what was going on.

Shared sectional prize with Julian N. Dadag for Adult Photgraphy...AND...Trophy Time!! Just walking on clouds and speaking in tongues at this point - Lol

Naturally Sekai was the safe keeper for the thing!

My Uncle Randy lookin' proud.  :)

Photographer and friend, Will I Am (William Richards) - was so happy he was there! Yo - check out this cat's work...SICK!!!! 

All breath in; nothing going out; felt like I was underwater - haha!

Sister B and darling Seyena and Tidjane

Life has really rewarded me in recent months, so I must say in closing, the maddening panic attacks were well worth it. Currently buried in work on new projects and submission deadlines, and yep, panic attacks.  Bring it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you UNIVERSE and  all you beautiful beings in it!

And finally, what's a victory report without that sophisticated car park pic by the tent generator?

*JCDC - Jamaica Cultural Development Commission

** Exhibition will be up at the National Gallery until August 28th.  Admission is free, gallery hours 10am - 4pm weekdays, 10am -3pm on Saturdays.  Information 876-922-1561.

 

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:                                         SeBiArt Getting Award for LIQUID (July 2010)

                                         I Friggin Won!!!!! Ha - I got support like Obama!! lol! (Feb 2008)

Ideas that Boggle the Mind

So I'm working on a new series called BRANDED which involves a little bit of acrylic paint scribbles and dabs on my models, a bit but not too messy.  A friend of mind just sent me some samples of an artist doing the same - except she, Alexa Meade, is going WAY beyond scribbles and dabs.  She's creating fully developed expressionistic paintings on live models and real objects. In an artistic time when everyone is pushing flat art into 3-D multimedia works, she's taking 3-D down to 2!  It's seriously the most incredible new innovation of a familiar medium that I've seen in a while - I'm completely blown away.  Check it out - AND her website. 

ADDITION July 24th, 2010

A friend of mine just reminded me (cuz I'm a forgetful crackhead apparently), that I kinda experimented with this a couple years ago (albeit conceptually different and less developed than this example) but still successful in that I won a prize for it!  :)  Do you remember SPLIT? 

 

SeBiArt Getting Award for LIQUID

I'm so happy and ridiculously excited to share this with you!  I found out this week  that I am an awardee for the JCDC/NDG* National Visual Arts competition!  I submitted 3 large pieces from my LIQUID Trees series and thank GOD they liked them.  Yipppeeeeeeee! I don't know what the award will be exactly - but I'm happy for the recognition nonetheless - it's been a while since I won anything!

The award ceremony details are in the poster below.  Calling all of you in Jamaica to come out and support.  There will be voting at the ceremony for the 'Public Favourite' Cash and Trophy prize.  I wouldn't mind walking away with that too!  HolleR.  

Feeling love from the universe SO MUCH right now.  See you there!

                  
                  *

RELATED JOURNEY POSTS:  

                                         Ha - I got support like Obama used to have! lol (July 2010)

                                         SeBiArt Getting Award for LIQUID (July 2010)
                                                  I Friggin Won!!!!! Ha - I got support like Obama!! lol! (Feb 2008)

 

ENDGAME

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.~  

When the space for open discourse and mutual understanding and respect have been eroded by stubborn self-righteousness on all sides, how do you carve out a new opening?

The extent of any the damage and temperamental pollution in any personal conflict always determines how much work needs to be done to clear the air. It often takes courage, a sense of safety and trust, and an open and interested heart to look at your part in the mess, to admit to it, and to let yourself receive the same from the other. 

I'm no fan of conflict (as most of us aren't - ha!).  It's upsetting, and my default is either to run; and if I stay, it is to express, to listen, to be heard, to concede, and to attempt to reach across the fence with palms up - so as to arrive at an even clearer and heightened space in my relationships.  I've been told by some that this is courage, by others, that it's cowardly, and by others still, that it's a crock of unrealistic new-age arrogant bullshit. 

Gandhi said that "anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding", that "anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is the monster that swallows it up".  I couldn't agree more.  But intolerance I feel is perhaps the worst ingredient of all.  If someone pisses you off, that's fine, we're human, and as fallible individuals, we gather baggage, we create unrealistic expectations of others, and we disagree on many matters of conduct.  But it's how we rise and fall from our tirades of perceived rejection that sets the lasting impression of our character, and creates the clearings or obstacles to personal growth and inner peace. 

It is important to ask: when the inner warrior stops swinging, is it because you subdued your foe, or because you subdued yourself? Did you speak more, or listen more?  Did you seek to be understood, ...or to understand? What did you say, what did you hear, what did you learn? Did you walk away with a more open heart, or with declarations of justified intolerance? Do you feel better at the end of a fray only if the other acquiesced to your point of view?  Are you committed to winning only by being right?   And what's the prize exactly?  Sometimes it feels great to be right, sure, but in the short term. If there was little risk or sacrifice of ego in acquiring it though - then haven't we actually lost? I love a good debate, and I'm passionate about my convictions, and I've been rightly accused of being condescending at times.  But pertaining to personal differences, no matter the position I have, or the facade I attempt to create, I inevitably will carry the burden of knowing when my 'right' was actually wrong. Not fun at all.

We must be honest about the hurt of having our toes crushed, for certain, but we can only 'win' new ground by also accepting our part in the dance, otherwise our growth is stunted and our tempers remain unsettled. It's hard work to cry, and then to smile, and then to offer love when we are confronted with rejection, but the rewards of doing so earn far more trust and respect, if not from your opponent, at least then for yourself. 
  

Conversely, at times it's best to ration our exposure to incompatible souls.  Sometimes it's best to concede and accept unfavourable outcomes as some souls are immutable, or even dangerous in their erruptions. Whenever I arrive at such a juncture, I end up asking: Is this truly enlightenment and acceptance? Is it brave? Or is it a wimpy act of avoidance for the sake of peace?  I'm not always sure.

Either way, I think it's ultimately more comfortable to surrender my pride, and take personal responsibility in the end.  I'm inspired by the intense need to create safety through honest disclosure of my fears, concerns, needs, and disappointments, in the hope that this may create a safe space for others to do the same. For peaceful relationships? Yes. For a desire to live in love? Absolutely!  In the end, it's the only play on this spacious board of life that I can sleep with.  

On a frivolous note...the mushrooms came back!

And look how happy SpongeBob is despite being under seige!

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. 
~Martin Luther King, Jr.~ 

reminiscence

         

           Cautiously polite

He guided me to the edge of

           the abyss

Looking through me

My back to infinity

He pushed me towards the edge

           with a kiss

His eyes closed as I fell into space

                           

Spreading my wings 

           in a freedom flight

           and rising

           he fell onto my shoulders

Then cradled by the span of my feathered hopes

We flew down... 

by Berette Macaulay

NEUE ROOTZ, Vol. I: The Start...finally

Exactly one year ago I set out on what was a highly anticipated journey: a family reunion 2 years in the making - organised by my dear aunt in Germany.

Twenty five members of my African/Czech-German family came together from all corners of the globe to seek out our roots in the Czech Republic where our common great great grandfather was from. It was indeed the journey of a lifetime.  But it was also the start of a new cycle, a turn onto a new path, with the intention of redirecting the purpose of my life, or just how I live it.  

Naturally I planned on documenting this reunion and creating some sort of project out of it.  But I also wanted to catalyze my photographic aspirations in the direction of fine arts and away from anything commercial.  So I also took my portfolio with me, with the intention hitting the galleries in the hopes of finding at least one curator who might be interested in showing my work.

I also applied to Oxford Trinity in London to train in TESOL (Teaching English As a Foreign Language)so that I could increase my ability to travel more and further, where I could explore new cultures and create new work.  Also if I could spend more time abroad, I thought, I could delve into my past with relatives and old friends across the oceans, who all could perhaps help 're-member' an old self I was convinced had been squelched by my New York City life. 

On the surface the following may seem a strange statement to make(since truly, I've never really lived a conventional life - always 'seeming' to follow every creative impulse), but I was seeking (via travel I guess) to purify my creative exchange with life, to learn to live more authentically, to experience my life rather than simply to survive it; to appreciate it and quietly direct it rather than to grade it according to external factors of failure and success.  

A year later, I'm still on that trip, and still living out of a suitcase.   Not everything went according to plan, as is life, right? And my travels have not been nearly as exotic as I dreamed...yet; but every minute of the last metamorphic 365 days have been filled with extraordinarily palpable, authentic experiences that continue to transform me daily with gratitude, wonderment, and love.  It was indeed a rather auspicious, or you could say fortuitous occasion that I would begin such a journey on a family reunion.  

As some of you may recall - I promised to blog about all this, but never quite got around to it.  But dammit, I can't let all my little videos and snapshots stay in the proverbial dust cabinet now can I?!  So at long last I begin to 'show' this story, though again, I won't promise consistency as current life events or 'whims' will continue to compete for blog space. So, after much adieu:

Neue Rootz Vol. I



Neue Rootz, Vol. I from SeBiArt on Vimeo.

RELATED JOURNEY POST:  In a final analysis...the story can now begin (Oct 2009)

SUPPORT POST: Vote for my sister for The Anchor on CVM-TV!!

Hey guys,


Asking for your support again - but this time for blood!  My sister has been sticking it out on a local television show host competition, The Anchor, on CVM television.  She's been competing for 3 months and now its down to the last vote.  

She's in the top three and after this week there will be a final two and that's it - so this really counts.  If you're in Jamaica - follow the instructions below and cast your vote as many times as you can! 

**Note: Votes are reset to zero every week - so you must vote this week for your support to count! AND - voting is unlimited!

Also my KOTE exhibit at Wijicoon is still up until Saturday - get over there before you miss it!

Thanks guys and much love

SeBiArt Showing Work at KOTE!

So, truth is I never heard of the annual KOTE (Kingston On The Edge) Art Festival until just a couple months ago, so I'm happy to be showing my work in it so soon after my knowledge of its existence. 

From everything I've heard from artists and supporters, this promises to be quite the exciting festival here in Kingston, Jamaica, with no shortage of events and exhibits in the visual and performing arts fields all over the city.

It's been a bit of a mad dash for the organizers and artists alike to get things together - but the seams are now sealed, and the festival kicks off this weekend, from June 18th - 26th. 

I will be showing (and selling!) a few pieces (from LIQUID, CrowDeD, and SMOKE series) with a small group of locally established photographers at the Wijicoon Gallery this Saturday:

 

For those of you who are here - I hope I see your ass at this show!  (*cheeeeeez*) And look how they embraced my MIND THE GAP image for the flyer.  (*cheese*cheese*) 

For the complete schedule of events and venues please check out the KOTE website or  http://www.kingstonontheedge.org/schedule/

I broke up with Self-Sabotage...

...it wasn't working out.
 

Self-Sabotage wanted me to give all my free time and energy to others, and to leave none for myself

Self-Sabotage wanted me to cocoon myself in deprecating thoughts of incompetency and undeserved discounts of my dreams, thus  deafening me to the best wishes and praises of others

Self-Sabotage didn't want me to do what I truly wanted, it only wished for me to live in yearning all the day long

Self-Sabotage made me push people I loved away, made me late for important interviews, auditions, or opportunities. Sometimes it made me forget important appointments - or remember them and JUST CHOOSE not to show up.

Self-Sabotage has been known to keep me busy or absent from the lives of some I love causing me to miss out on bonding opportunities

Self-Sabotage always promises things or experiences for tomorrow but never lets me act today

Self-Sabotage lets me eat badly, too little, or too much, and tells me not to care about my appearance because no one is looking or cares

Self-Sabotage exhausted me to the point where I neglected my health, then made me spend money on needless things so I could be in debt and unable to help myself when I was in need and ready to care for myself

Self-Sabotage tells me I'm too fat, ugly, stupid, lazy, untalented and thoroughly unlovable

Self-Sabotage made me withdraw from others, and from living by telling me that I would be left behind anyway

But...

Self-Sabotage wasn't there for me when I woke up one day and realized I compromised my values;

It didn't care that I didn't 'live for today'; that I didn't 'follow my dreams'; that I would curl in my bed alone at night wondering if anyone will ever hold me again.

It tells me to trust no one, open up to no one, love no one - so that it can keep me to itself.

It's always there, always been there, but doesn't love me.

It advises me but never in my best interest. It always talks to me but always lies. It runs everywhere with me but keeps me stuck in the shit hole I dug for myself.

SO, one day, I stopped arguing with Self-Sabotage.

I stopped trying to outrun it, outsmart it, or fight it.

Instead, I turned and faced it, embraced it, ate it, and shat it out.

Alas, it really wasn't as powerful as I let myself believe it to be; but it lay lots of eggs though...in caviar numbers...and every time one hatches, I try to eat it before it grows. I can't let them grow to dominate my thoughts and actions - life is just less fun and more exhausting that way.

The truth is I'm full of love, open curiosity, and a zest for life.

I'm healthy, strong, talented, beautiful, damn smart, and highly adaptable - and I simply adore using these gifts in the service of love and progress with other loving, strong, beautiful, thoughtful, passionate, and open individuals.

Now I dare to live at the height I dream myself to be...with not one, but five amazing companions:

Compassion, Humility, Gratitude, Self-Respect, and Self-Love

_________________

+++Note about this post:

I wrote this during a very quiet period in the winter/spring of 2009. I was spending my days working quietly on my photography, dreaming, meditating, doing my yoga, spending time with loved ones.  But before I was able to post it - SB grabbed on to me for a last fling - spiraling me into a series of every habitual action listed above, condensed into a few short weeks.  I simply could not post this until I was sure the break up was for real.  

Everything I've been posting on this blog has in one way or another been tied to a most specific cleansing journey that I refer to often in my jottings.  Every living moment, in work or play, has been a conscious one designed to move me away from this beast, and the drive to stay clear in this has come from looking at these words, with the determination to post them exactly one year from the date I wrote them down.  

Now surely, there's all sorts of bullshit still to wade through - such is life, n'est pas?  But at least I say today with a smile and a little sass that SB calls no shots in this house anymore.  :) 

Take charge of your inner house!

"Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live."
 
~Anais Nin~ 
 

SUPPORT POST: YOUmanity begins with YOU

My darling friend and now X-hussy has the mind of a peace loving insane genius.  Everything he does leaves me shaking my head and wondering...'how?'  He's a fantastic actor and a wordsmith wonder who rivals the best Who's Line Is It Anyway heavyweights.  He's also a creative artist with the soul of a true humanitarian.  He's always involved in some effort or another to assist a group of individuals, or some poor animal to have an easier go at this thing called life.

In support of his efforts, and theirs, I wanted to post this here.  Check it and get one! Sarah Palin, Carol Channing and Lady GaGa Endorse!!!!  Haha!!

Thanks for the support.

100% of the profits from the sale of this YOUmanity T-shirt will be donated to the following organizations that help children:

The Babygirl Project is a part of FREE THE CHILDREN - show you LIKE them on Facebook.

YOUmanity

It begins with YOU

SOLE of REDEMPTION: Majesty of the Little Things

Over the course of one’s life you accumulate a lot of shoes – and many of them reveal an awful lot about who you are or who you’re trying to be and most importantly, they are obvious markers of what races you’re running or which ones you fit into (or not).   I’ve been tossing out a lot of shoes lately – not so much because of a bad fit, but rather because I bought a few that were simply uncomfortable. 

In my travels over the past year I’ve found a few new pairs in Europe (UK and Germany) and back home in Jamaica that fit really well.  Particularly back in Jamaica, the fit was so good that I broke out into a sprint.  My life over the past few months has taken on the most unpredictable direction which has focused my most recent running efforts into producing and possibly showing my new photographic projects there.

I’ve been so taken by the open generousity, warmth, beauty, and ease of temperament of my fellow Jamaicans, which frankly I’d long forgotten in my fast-and-furious-singular-ambitious-race-for-survival in New York.  I will admit that over the years, I’ve become a New Yorker in every sense, I correlate my needs and resources at a constant pace of supreme urgency just as a matter of course, and being confronted by anything slower is enough to cause a crash.  And crash I did, from utter exhaustion into a necessarily new (though old and familiar) way of navigating the path.  

Hanging out with friends and family needn’t be as complicated as arranging a triple by-pass surgery with the world’s most sought after surgeon.  In Jamaica, I experienced a social ease that seemed to be free of self-importance - free of attachment to busy schedules. I experienced myself at ease, which as odd as this may be to say about oneself, is quite the novelty! The scene in Kingston has changed immensely since my youthful days there.  I shamefully admit now that I left Jamaica thinking it was limited in its cultural views and therefore in its expression and growth – and I’ve never been more wrong about anything in my life. 

          Now that I’ve become, for all intents and purposes, a complete tourist, when I travel there my eyes are always open to every new development, and to my absolute wonderment and delight, there have been many.   Thriving galleries (you must check out the newly renovated National Gallery!), art fairs and festivals offer new avenues of visual and performing art expression with several exhibition and performance spaces for new talent to share their creations (eg. Kingston on the Edge [KOTE] & Liguanea Art Festival).  Gorgeous new hotels with lovely lounges for evening gatherings (Backgammon nights, and lunch at Spanish Court Hotel - winner!  thanks Mickey!), which are among the many nightlife options that even the New York Times referred to last November as a happening scene.  There is a thriving café and restaurant culture with more culinary explorations than were ever available in my day, and a huge fashion explosion (see Caribbean Fashion week) with promising collaborations of new and established talent from all over the Caribbean and the world.  There are also open venues for new writers to present, publish, and sell their works (see Bookphilia). And all this, against the backdrop of an incredibly beautiful, tropical, mountainous paradise with fun, gregarious, talented, sexy, beautiful people.  And now all this seems to be hanging in the balance of a few individuals who have all but set the capital on proverbial fire.  

Jamaica for all its glaring beauty has unfortunate glaring socio-economic challenges that have created hot ground under the shoes of its citizens.  With the pending extradition of the alleged drug and arms trafficker Christopher “Dudus” Coke, the descending hell of his supporters to prevent his arrest has now sent my fellow Jamaicans running for the hills before a 6pm curfew.  State of Emergency?! My God my mind is beating louder than my heart.  Being a West African born girl, I know what that means in perhaps a more palpable way than even my friends who are currently in the middle of this fray.  I can’t help but project my knowledge of a particular type of national unrest onto this my other home.   Ironically "Dudus" is to be extradited to my third home, New York City. 

Parallel to this is the irony that for some time now the citizens of Jamaica have been less than pleased, not only with the government and it’s handling of the country and this current set of circumstances concerning “Dudus” but also with the Police Forces – some calling for their total disbandment and replacement.  I unfortunately don’t have a fully informed opinion on  much of this to be perfectly honest.  I am an artist, and a dreamer; I purposely ride in a bubble, and currently with really comfy shoes that want to run home. 

The irony is that with the intensity of our current civil unrest – our very safety now relies completely on those whom we have spent all this time criticizing.  The burden and full extent of accountability of the reasons behind this not withstanding, I’m sure of this much, we can only pray for and support those who are literally laying their lives on the line to keep our loved ones safe.  The run in the streets now is almost like a race for redemption, and their bloodstained soles, in my dreaming mind, serve only to clear the path for clean new ground upon which we can tread together slowly, calmly, and stain-free to a better, brighter, and united future.  

May the Universal Love of Life Redeem Our Majestic Little Island

+ Photos of local children and Bonsai trees (courtesy of award winning Bonsai artist Kynan Cooke) in Kingston, Jamaica  – all beautiful little things, that with loving care, bend and grow and thrive in little spaces with grand elegance.  

++ For more on hot gathering spots, arts & entertainment, and open discourse on current cultural tides in Kingston - YardEdge.net is pretty much the best resource for listings on everything happening now.  Check it and bookmark it. 

+++ Wise appeals from Bob, Black Uhuru, Shabba, Buju, and Matisyahu:

Bob Marley - Ambush In The Night

 

Black Uhuru - Solidarity



Shabba Ranks - Roots and Culture

Buju Banton - Cowboy/Curfew

Matisyahu - One Day (LIVE Sirrus performance with beatboxing)

We Hope

   We Pray

      We Clamour for Peace

                     for Truth

                       for Justice

                         for Unity

                        AS A NATION 

~Mystic Urchin~