If there's one thing I have to admit I'm not very good at, is keeping my friends, family, or even myself updated on what the heck is truly going on in my life. I tend to get overwhelmed with planning, with my dreams, and with living which generally breeds more stress than satisfaction. And frankly, I'm shit scared of truly utilizing this or any of the other networking/self promoting sites to their fullest - always stopping VERY short of publicly announcing my triumphs and trials because I figure no one will or should care.
This is quite hypocritical of me - as I have so many who do care, and I do need to share the stuff of my life or WTF is the point?? In recognizing and admitting this shortcoming, I also see how it leaves little room for real gratitude - so I must start there - by listing my to-do list of the year, then show how I plowed through it, and state what I feel so thankful for and so good about having accomplished this year, even if some of those accomplishments are somewhat, I don't know, humble or in some cases even corny or embarrassing. LOL!
I'm still not famous, I still have yet to have the cashflow I KNOW I deserve, LOL, and I haven't traveled to enough to inspire envy in others - but I've LIVEd HARD this year and I've LEARNed so much more than can immediately be applied, and I'm FILLed with supreme gratitude and respect for the power of POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS!! Ha! So here it is folks - My 2007:
1) Redo website: CHECK!
Although I haven't updated it in months now, at least I managed to redesign and organize it earlier this year. haha!
And if you haven't had a chance to check it in 2007 - it's not too late! Please holla at me with suggestions for the next update so I don't redesign it in a vacuum - lol! Go To SeBiArt
2) Go back to Modern Dance: CHECK! Well sort of...
I seriously can't believe I've gone a whole year basically not living in a dance studio - BUT at least I did two shows which keeps me feeling like I can still say I'm a dancer, and I now have Aaron Davis Music Hall Theater on my resume! YEAH!!!!! Here's my performer website (needs updating too hahaha!) GO TO MY other profile
3) Do some modeling for kicks: CHECK!
This was my first career a long time ago, and on my pilgrimage into my past this year - I decided to revisit it for fun - and surprising to me I got work strutting runways in a ton of shows for some really cool indie designers. Fun and affirming to an old bag like me - Hahahaha! And hey, I made some cash on the side and scored some cools threads!!! lol! Best of all - it was quite the crafty way to find designers and stylists to work with for my photography projects - SCORE!!!!
4) Check in on my Mom in her first year of mourning: CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!
-Went to London with her for the holidays since the first Christmas without dad would be too hard at home.
-Traveled home to Jamaica 4 times this year to visit her.
-Celebrated her birthday with her in Florida.
-Went to DC with her to visit family and take some time out.
-Just had the most AWESOME time with her in Costa Rica - visited her while she was on assignment there. FELL in LOVVVVVEEE with that country...Wow!
-Started sorting through stuff and helping her to fix up the house...ongoing... When you're an only child (her only child - got siblings from my late Dad's previous marriages) I think the pressure is a little tougher on you - no one to share to obligatory load with, you know...
5) Organize my Photography career and GET HELP!!: CHECK! But still need help - LOL!!
Through the support of dear friends I got help securing summer interns to refocus my admin responsibilities so I could have more time to just be an artist. :) I was so grateful for that time, and I learned so much about what to do and not to do - most of which needs to be implemented NEXT year! hahaha!
6) Shoot more, get work published and exhibited, sell more prints: CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!
Since the start of 2007 I've fired off my shutter over 8000 times! Yes believe it!!! And yes, I'm so overwhelmed by that fact that my myspace page, website, and youtube accounts have yet to be updated with a fraction of my finals from my new images. Speaking of finals - I've yet select even fraction of finals from my shoots! YIKES! Pain, PAIN!!! Clearly first on the to do list for 2008! Sigh...
I donated pieces to two shows two nationally recognized contemporary art spaces: Real Art Ways in CT and this month at Artists Space in SoHo, NYC - where my pieces sold! Yippeee!!
Got published in Skywritings and JamRock Mag. NEED MORE!!! lmao
Sold a fair number of prints - which was really a blessing and affirmation of what I'm doing - BUT, must sell a LARGE number of prints NEXT year honey!!! hehehehe!
7) Organize photos, update portfolio, solicit job assignments, enter photo competitions, and get representation: SIGH....
Yeah - see above...2008 BABY!!!! But wait - it's still 2007, and I'm just starting to submit some images before the year is out! Starting with VH1's - THE SHOT - I'll be asking y'all for you votes - so stay posted!! YEAH!!!!! CHECK!!!
In fact how about now - please visit www.theshotspot.com look for my profile under SeBiArt and vote for me PLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ - I need votes just to even have my photos viewed by the judges!
8) Reorganize finances - save save save, and Jesus, start a plan to secure some idea of financial freedom!!!! : CHEEEECCCCCCKKKKKKK!!
I did it. I busted my ass this year - and at a couple of junctures, at the total risk of my health (mental and physical! - ended up in hospital with a 104 fever and an infected leg on the verge of amputation!!! Long story - with a VERY good ending, and a BIG and obvious lesson learned - HEALTH FIRST PEOPLE!!) My financial strains have been reorganized into a manageable reality I haven't enjoyed in YEARS! And if I keep this going - I will be free! Thank you universe!!!!!!
9) START TRAVELING FOR MYSELF AGAIN: CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!
See 4 - plus, I was blessed enough to jump over to London in the best month for the arts - in October, where I met some real cool cats, went to a ton of fairs and galleries, took in a couple shows, and pretty much walked all over London for a week just exploring it in a most personal way like I'd never done before. Seriously, I got shin splints and my achilles was shot to shit by the time I left! LOL!
On that trip I was inspired with such gratitude, and my memory came back to me - really. I spent so much time visiting family and old friends, going back to some serious roots while planting new ones. I visited my dad's old chambers in Grays INN and was filled with awe and admiration for all he accomplished in his life. The whole trip was too incredible to express. I'm actually thinking of moving over there...more on that another day...
10) Quit Smoking: SHIT, puff, exhale..., well, the desire is stronger than ever so it's gonna happen - soon! I mean, how long have I had that grave site pic on my profile now???!!!! Puff...exhale...
11) Stop fucking with my hair!!! CHECK DAMMIT CHECK!!
Over the course of this year my deepest processes were manifested through the tumultuous relationship I developed with my hair - starting the year off with a big ass head of hair and ending it with none, and now hiding out and growing it back in my old guise of my Amazon braids. lol! And you know - I love my braids - I'm happy to have them again - they're me! Had I been updating my photos y'all would have seen this journey. I had to hide the scissors from myself folks, seriously!12)Get back in touch and strengthen old bonds: CHECK, BiG CHeck, MOST Important CHECK!!!!
What is any accomplishment, positive change, or blessing in your life without your peeps! The older I get the more I need my people, my witnesses, my sanity, my support - and frankly in this need is a humility that allows me to shed the reclusive shroud and come out and admit this.
I'm really thankful and happy to be able to say that I have secured consistent communications with SO MANY people this year - which is no easy feat. My dearest friends and family are LITERALLY spread out all over the world on four continents!!! It takes real commitment and love to keep it together, and there's been a lot of that this year - and I pray it stays that way. And you know what - we did it with phone calls, emails, letters, and visits! So old fashioned!! hahaha!! And I love it!
I Love you my dears - and I can hardly wait to continue growing with you in the new year!
I leave you with this first goal for the new year:
1) UPLOAD NEW FRIGGIN IMAGES ALREADY!!!!!!! lol!!!!
...list to be ctd...
3 COMMENTS FOR THIS ENTRY:
WarriorPrincess-Yxia
where?when? and how do I start??? To say I love your blog is such an embarrassing understatement...sigh, I think Im just gonna go for it and yap like i did earlier as I wrote my 2008 blog, with no planning or structure, becuz otherwise, it would've been too overwhelming and I wouldn't have written anything at all!!!
Your Mom: can I punch her in the neck?? She is adorableeeeeeee!!! I mean, look at that picture right there!!!!! How did you manage to spend so much time with her and she's still alive??? LMAO.
So much Scoopy!!! Im beyond proud of you; wow!!! Its amazing how much you accomplished this year! It's a totally different person from 3 years ago, for sure!
The Costa Rica trip took my breath away.Thank you for sharing that with us as well. What glory to experience on time off, and not during a gig and a 2 day trip,lol, as I often have to do.
Your entire intro was like looking directly inside my own brain because I feel you, i feel you, i feel you. Financial freedom???? what's dat?? LOL. no seriously!!!! Sooooo glad you mentioned it , because aside from the people who KNOW me personally, and other people in the industry doing what I do, NOONE knows how UN-glamorous this life is! If you're a stranger and you take a tour of my myspace photo gallery, you'd think, "ooh, she's got it made!!! She's travelled all over the world, worked with all the Big Ones of the Hip HOP music industry, she's got her own accessory company AND she must be selling them artworks like hotcakes!!hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Isn't it hilarious sometimes? Becuz we both know that is NOT the case! So i looooove that I have dear friends like yourself to share the brutal reality with and that indeed, when the day of "Financial Freedom" comes around, you Know we 'GON' party like ITS 1999!!!!!!! wooooooo hoooooooo!!
Thank you, thank you for reading mine and for posting this. I have a whole hell of alot more to say but I think you get the gist from this extended note. Yes, i too, hated myspace, in fact, all my closest friends did, including yourself, but as you mentioned ,its like, if we're goin to do it, WTF@ck! we might as well get the most out of it while exposing ourselves so vulnerably to the rest of the world. In fact, thats how I ended up posting my list today!!! I was just home chillin', thinking, introspecting as usual and thought: sigh, wonder what 2008 is gonna bring". and then like a lil lit lightbulb hanging over my head, it occurred to me,"Hmm, what if I write down what I WANT 2008 to be about!!" and on top of that, let me have the guts to share it with the rest of myspace friends, because I know sooner or later "these b@st@rds" are gonna keep reminding me of what I was set out to do, and I'll have no choice but to do it!!! LMAOOOOOOO!!! Crap!
I love you and I'll love to join you in your journey. I know we Always mention we'll do something together, but believe me, its gonna come and its going to be so organic and fabulous, that we're going to laugh about it when its in front of our faces.
Blessed~
Yxia
Posted by WarriorPrincess-Yxia on Thursday, December 27, 2007 - 22:46
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justin lynch
Nuff big up, you have a lot to be proud of this year. My new year's resolutions are always only half-formed as of January 1 and have reverted to nothingness by January 10. Congrats on keeping them around for a whole year. You have inspired me to do the same!!!!!
Posted by justin lynch on Thursday, December 27, 2007 - 22:47
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fflood
WOW WOW and WOW!! so glad that you pointed me to your blog, what a beautiful update of your journey over the past year!! i salute your open-ness and determination, its such a gift to read this, see you, see you your art (had to wait for the bikini pic of you to circle back round again, but luckily i had many very nice images to contemplate till that came back around :), and now i am even more super amped to see you in yaad!! woo hoo!!!
by the way, the link to "The Shot" you put on my page nah werk... mi ago look fi eet meself zeen? love you!! brave beautiful soul!! mmmwah!!
lovefflood,
richard
Posted by fflood on Saturday, December 29, 2007 - 18:42
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