The Black List Project and the conversations it provokes..

I must sleep and digest what I just saw and heard at the Brooklyn Museum today - and then return to this entry. But for starters - I was invited by another female photographer of color, Amanda Adams Louis, to attend a special event, a panel discussion "What's Black Got To Do with It?" at the Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Auditorium. The summary of this was as follows:

This panel discussion, moderated by Elvis Mitchell, interviewer for The Black List Project, continues the exhibition’s consideration of how race, history, and each individual's striving shape and enrich their stories of success. The discussion will center on what the next four years might hold for Black women now that First Lady Obama and her daughters have moved into the White House. Panelists will include Studio Museum in Harlem Director and Chief Curator Thelma Golden, acclaimed artist Lorna Simpson , and CNN Entertainment Correspondent Lola Ogunnaike.

I had wanted very much to see this project featuring large format portraits by Timothy Greenfield Saunders - so the topic of discussion was simply an added bonus. Sitting in that auditorium and listening to these women, and to Elvis Mitchell, made me realize and remember a simple truth...it is really important to congregate, to gather and share your experience. I heard things that I thought in my self imposed isolation were my own concerns or observations. Gosh what a shock to realize how common it was that women of color do so revel in Michelle Obamas skin tone and features, and what meaning it brings to how we feel we will be perceived henceforth.



There were many areas of discussion enveloped in the question of "What's Black Got to do with it?" such as:

-How we will weather the complete destabilization, well, destruction of our federal funding for the arts, and how that will challenge particularly non-commercial artists of color. Lorna Simpson made some incredible points about the technological inequities that exist, where access and ability to participate in the new world of internet exposure is sharply limited among people of color, particularly in the poor nations of the world, in Africa and the Caribbean. The irony is that its much cheaper to get your work seen in today's digital world - but you must have access to those cheaper means in order to benefit from this advancement. When and how, in today's economy will we have sufficient initiatives to bridge this gap? At least, I heard today, that Obama's stimulus proposal will include $50 million to the Nat'l Endow. for the Arts. It's a start...

- We are now by default made to return to important conversations and cultural observations of our place, our growth, our importance, and our contributions to society, now that the "bling bling" era of self-serving materialistic distraction has now been brought to a sudden and jarring halt.

-We must now consider how to quantify the significance or gravitas of Michelle Obama's win, how black women will be viewed, and what will now be expected of them, of us; the excitement and concern of what it means to suddenly be shifted from invisibility to complete and utter important symbolic visibility..., hers, her daughters, and thus our sudden and near ubiquitous image now and forever and positively included in the photographic history of America...of the world!

Lola Ogunnaike was repeatedly noting that in her experience, she was constantly responding to comments of how her presence as a dark-skinned black woman on CNN was of particular importance to many sisters, that the meaning of this has apparently swelled with Michelle Obama's ascent to First Lady in the White House.

-There was too, a question by Elvis Mitchell whether all people of color, will disappear AFTER Obama - like how TV land looked post the Cosby Show? Could this attention be just for the moment? Where will we be in four years? And someone asked too - what is Black History Month now going to be like - and will it become redundant?

There were indeed SO many things I wanted to discuss regarding my understanding of the significance of this time - through the eyes of an immigrant, a perpetual immigrant...a West African (Sierra Leoneon born), raised, and schooled in the Caribbean, British, and American societies, seeped in the social sensitivities of the black diaspora from three very distinct points of view. I asked what I thought was quite an important question:

So now that our image has been positively redesigned in the likeness of the Obamas for other 'races' - what will this do for relationships WITHIN the black race? How does this address intra-racism? And since this panel is specifically about black women - how does this affect the relationships among all sisters of color?


More anon - but in the meantime...I've found the Black List playlist on youtube. Check it:

What Is It to Live Creatively?

The question I've pondered my whole life is "what is it to live a creative life?" Is it to search, or to find your purpose and passionately without fear or caution, chart a course of action to pursue this singular purpose and fulfill it? Or is it to let the essence that is YOU change and unfold anew, as you keep yourself open to any and all adventures you may happen upon; to create and share multiple textures of self and to be rewarded and fulfilled by the experience itself?

I've tried both and neither way has settled the question. The traditional paradigm that we all exist in - particularly in America I think, offers little permission for the latter, and few rewards for the obedient follower of the former. There is great monetary reinforcement and useful social gain to opt for another path - that is, to live the pre-meditated, strategic life: get the traditional degree - one that has been proven to be socially necessary and profitable, and get it from the right institution; attend the right parties; join the acceptable clubs; learn the unoffensive, agreeble language; think critically only when a format is set as to how to do so acceptably; invest here; buy that; live here; eat 2000 calories a day; laugh at this volume; marry that person; procreate by X age; don't curse; never share; expose nothing; eat your vegetables; drink more water; etc, etc. By the time you've satisfied even half of this list perhaps 20 years have gone by and suddenly you're gripped by a frighting and urgent need for a DO-OVER, back when you knew who you were and what your taste was, how to take risks, and the fact that you hate water and like to use the word "fuck". Sound familiar? Perhaps because we're horse fed this shit, only about living as a straight player BY the straight players as it were; the mysteriously irrefutable and unidentified 'they' we always hear about...

But what about those of us who live only in a state of risk? We wake up one day too from our non-traditional high-on-life trip, only to realize that we're on the outside with no way of buying our way back in. The mid-life crisis of the artist??? What in Christ's name is that? Well, if you didn't sell your soul to Big Brother - you wake up and realize that you made the decision to be financially and socially isolated from the majority of 'swimming sleeping minions', who you now idolize from inside your 'empty' fish bowl, sealed and seated in a vast tank of unreachable toys and comforts, while their faces press in to your globe wishing to experience for a day what it could be like to be such a liberated and exotic misfit. Incredible.

Could the grass be greener only and simply because we have our backs turned to our own lawn while craning our necks over the fence to get a peep at the garden next door?

To live creatively I believe is to live honestly; in truth; however that is to be manifested by you - whatever that means, so long as it is satisfying an intrinsic need within you to feel, experience, create, or express, and NOT to satisfy some external requirement or subscription on how to live out the limited days you have on this earth.

With that - I leave you with a trailer for a documentary I intend to watch VERY shortly, about someone who has done just that: Dr. Hunter S. Thompson





see link below also.  serious talk and hard truth with eerily current relevance.

Top Ten Hunter S. Thompson Quotes on Alternative Reel

SeBiArt Hosts Video Blog on YARDEDGE - 1st Interview - SPUR TREE LOUNGE, NYC

PART I

PART II

1 COMMENT FOR THIS ENTRY

germaican_lady

Laaawwed, mi hungry now!! ...lol... Oh, by the way, what DON'T you do, girl?

Posted by GermaicanLady on Sunday, January 18, 2009 - 21:50
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Late but still affecting...a little thought on Obama's Victory

The night Barack won, my mum called me from Jamaica. Like all around us, and around the world, we wept - and she said to me "You see Berette, do you see what he has done? Look at his supporters: an even mix of every type of person jumping together as one body. That is the world your father and I raised you to see, that is the world we wanted to you to live in." And I cried out, LOUDLY and almost violently because that night, I remembered the girl I was when I moved here and my heart opened for me to begin loving myself again.

Yes, it was truly an amazing time to be alive, to be a part of such joy, such openness, such incredulous euphoric oneness on that night, and I will forever cherish having been alive to witness and experience it. I was jumping till the wee hours in Times Square - too filled and too hungry to be filled more to go home. :) It was also the night I accepted America as my home. 

A Response to DISPATCHES FROM (A)MENDED AMERICA

I received a most moving email describing the new endeavors of my acting professor Godfrey Simmons Jr, inspired by Barack Obama's Historic victory. (See my Favourite Blog List or go directly to www.dispatchesfromamendedamerica.blogspot.com). I was immediately inspired by his appeal and responded to it with a most personal account of my journey as a black immigrant here in the United States. First a synopsis of his project - followed by my response:

In the month leading up to the Presidential Inauguration, I will be traveling throughout America with my friend and colleague Brandt Adams to interview Americans about this watershed event. The guiding questions will be: What does the election of America's first African American President mean to you? Has this changed your life and if so, how? Has this changed America? What do we do now? We feel we can best investigate these questions by soliciting real Americans' own stories of the 2008 presidential election through their eyes and in their own words. What are their hopes for the President elected on hope? What suggestions can they give to an Obama administration that would keep them engaged in the governance of our country?

The interviews, which will be digitally recorded either on audio or video, will form the basis of a documentary theatre piece called DISPATCHES FROM (A)MENDED AMERICA. Brandt and I, two displaced sons of the South, will begin traveling on December 28th along the same routes used by The Freedom Riders in 1960 and then make our way from Mississippi, North toward Chicago, retracing The Great Migration of African Americans from 1910-1940. Finally, we'll make our way eastward through Philadelphia, finally landing in Washington DC on January 19th in time for the Presidential Inaugural Ceremony. We plan to interview people in Farmville, Virginia, home to one of the school districts included in the original five cases comprising Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka; Greensboro, site of the first civil rights sit-in at Woolworth's; and Oxford, Mississippi, where James Meredith integrated the University of Mississippi in 1962. The fact that Brandt is a 25-year-old white man born and raised in Virginia and I am a 42-year-old black man raised in Virginia only serves to amplify the resonance of this project to us both personally and politically.

My Response

I would like to share a couple of thoughts with you on this if you don't mind. I know I'm not an American, and so there's a particular meaning that this election has had for African Americans that I can't share in a historical or cultural context, but I can certainly share in an emotional one, as a black immigrant in this country. As you know, I am the daughter of two attorneys/human rights activists - of West African and German decent. I grew up as a foreigner in every country I've lived, in Jamaica, the UK, and now here, raised with ideals that espouse the same values as those lofty ones upon which this country was built...We The People... .  I moved here with, as I was told, a blanket over my eyes. I therefore lived to, and relished in cracking the glass of stereotypes. I was lucky to make it to my mid-twenties with no idea, experience, or frankly belief in racism; with no tolerance for the so-called existence of it in my daily life; no real empathy for any one who cried from its contemporary lashes; and I certainly didn't identify with the living meaning of 'minority' - for you see, I had that middle class up-bringing in nations where either BLACK was the majority (and so therefore I've seen black leaders of nations), or in the UK where being 'an educated black' was lauded so much so that it was barely even noticed! A far cry from America where being black was a point to be noted no matter WHAT you do or where you are from! You're black first, and then the rest of your demographic or personal details can be organized into some pre-ordained section of the social quilt.

Over the years, I have felt the blanket I came here with fall from my eyes. I can no longer argue, shut off, or close my eyes to the fact that I have been fighting a thing I never fought before. I have to fight to be me, to be 'Berette'. I know undeniably now how "the angry black woman" is formed. Not so much because of I've become one, but because of moments when I channeled the feeling of one because I felt denied the right to be the educated, beautiful, mild mannered, sexy, intelligent and sophisticated being that I actually am. Yes I said it! ha! When I open my mouth and this nondescript accent comes out, I am no longer blinded to the confusion it causes - I am now hurt by it. When I speak in well constructed sentences, and offer bridge-tales for a desperate connection - or as an explanation, I have felt saddened by the fascination and incredulousness in the eyes of some of my listeners or audience, and no longer enjoy the acceptance I gain, as it is often in the form of exotification if you will. If I don't dress in fashionable duds, I can't get a cab or service in a store. I can't deny that the woman I am, that many of my sisters are, is not seen in the media or represented in a way to reinforce the validation of my apparent freakish existence. I can't believe that I find myself now seeing, feeling, and experiencing things I never saw, felt, or heard in my childhood. As a woman, a black woman, I have come to experience and understand the burden of this ascribed status and its place at the bottom of the totem pole. I have come to understand as a quiet social rule that I am not a status prize on the arm of men, and most painfully therefore of black men who have further to climb. I have taken on damaging thoughts of myself. After over a decade, I have fallen from my parents' idealistic heights and now live as a 'minority'.

I was going through an emotional break - a sense of a loss of self, and I needed to get out, for in my subjective world, - I came to conclude that while living here, America was apparently teaching me to hate myself. Then Barack Obama came along, with that wife of his. :) Let me state that since March of this year, it was Michelle Obama who held my interest most. It was her, who gave him deep character in my eyes. It was her interviews and speeches I paid closest attention to - most of them featured on CSPAN. He was easy for me to accept - as we have seen this (type of) man represented in politics and media before - and frankly I grew up around men like that, his rhetoric, his sentiments, wishes, projections, dreams were refreshingly familiar to me. His style of debate woke up an unused part of my mind and heart and brought my father back to me.  But his wife - she represents CHANGE, in a way that will I believe, quietly shift and alter far more in the current paradigm of the world than even his win.   I grew up with women like this all around me too - my mother being one cut from the same cloth.  But rarely have I seen these women commonly featured plainly in politics, high academia, or media, if at all, the lack of which contributed to my forgetfulness and diminutive perception of myself in America.  Oh, to be so priviliged to be a little black girl in the world today to see her, a tall dark-skinned, broad-nosed, well spoken educated, black woman as the First Lady of a first world white majority nation!  As she said, and I paraphrase 'to be a girl who will be a woman my age some day living in a world where she can take this for granted!'  INDEED.  What privilige to be black adult female to see that too. WE needed that. I NEEDED, I NEEDED to see THAT in my lifetime. How will this change how black women are seen? How will this lift some of the burden? How will this remove: the xenophobia, the concubine crown, the mammi cap, the animalistic vulgarness expected of us, the anger, the pain, bipolar post-traumatic stress and confusion, the lashes of thankless expectation of strength, the lack of positive reinforcement, the lack of permission to be weak or to be great? How will this remove the invisibility? Will this give black women the right to be unremarkably yet respectfully normal? Godfrey, this is what I wept for that night.

Strangely enough - I really didn't experience doubt about the trajectory of Barack's campaign. It seemed ordained and so I believed, but not with a blanket over my eyes, rather with a knowing and a worry frankly, of how he would be regarded by the end of 2009. For anyone who would have won, love and popularity would not be theirs' to hold by the holidays of next year, but I felt weary of the first black president having to endure the impatience from the public from what will be hardcore third world political choices imposed on us to fix the mess of that nitwit Bush. It will be interesting to see how long and how tightly we can hold on to the hopes we now project onto our Son of Hope. He will need our faith and our patience and our belief and our celebration more a year from now - it is key that we know this now - for the romance will end shortly.

My mum called me from Jamaica - and we wept - and she said - "You see Berette, you see what he what he has done? Look at his supporters: an even mix of every type person jumping together as one force - that is the world we raised you to see, that is the world we wanted to you to live in." And I cried out, LOUDLY and vigourously, because that night, I remembered the girl I was when I moved here and my heart opened to begin loving myself in the American context  again.

I wish you every possible blessing on this journey. I wish for you to be filled and for you to find all you seek, I anxiously await the blog entries and the theatrical work that will be birthed from this effort.

Peace with much ease dear brother, teacher, and old friend,

Berette

lines|music|poetry|humanity - the words and voice of Ben Okri

"We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans. And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate. It's just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there. Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn't have expected."

"Reading, like writing, is a creative act. If readers only bring a narrow range of themselves to the book, then they'll only see their narrow range reflected in it."

And speaking of narrow views -  this is such a poignant talk on the danger of such limitations - seen on TED:  "Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice -- and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding."

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story

SeBiArt Summer Program - Mark Your Calendars!!

So guess what dear revelers - its party time AND showtime all under one roof and and on one boat!! I'm collaborating with a bunch of creative geniuses this summer to bring to you some great art, excellent entertainment, and fun on a boat - jamming to tunes and watching some great dance in the golden sunset! Check out the flyers and see you there!!

The first event is All We Have Left… an evening of art by me, and new choreographic works by Sarah Holmes' SHBA Danceworks, and more NYC based and visiting dance companies from the west coast.
I will be previewing my photo series "Crowded" for this show. It will be presented at Triskelion Arts in Williamsburg, Brooklyn on July 25th. There will be an after party too! See flyer below and more at www.triskelion.org:

The next event is the "Summer Groove Cruise" hosted by Art For Progress – the New York based non-profit arts and education organization that headed up the competition I won back in March. This event held on Aug 7th promises to be a lot of fun on the Star of Palm Beach circling the island of Manhattan in the evening sun. It will be a 3 hour soiree of music, dance performances, and art. This will also be an amazing opportunity to view up close international artist and weather maker Olafur Eliasson's New York City Waterfalls installed at different points with prime viewing from the water. If you don't have your own boat – come claim this one people! This is the way to parTAY!! Performances by Nina Buisson Contemporary Move featuring principal dancer Maki Shinagawa and SHBA Danceworks in collaboration with SeBiArt. See flyer and www.artforprogress.org:

SEE YOU THERE!!!

I Friggin WON!!!!! Ha - I got support like Obama!! lol!

I won!!! I won!!! I can't friggin' believe it! Check out the link(click or copy & past):
http://www.artforprogress.org/contest.php

And now I have to figure out how to put this all together in a presentation for the Clash of the Artist event on March 15th. This is when the finalists and winners get to show off their work liVe!! :) A friend of mine and finalist, fashion designer Prizy Sebastian will be showing her stuff there too - and ladies, it would be wrong to miss it - she makes SERIOUSLY gorgeous stuff. OMG - I'm so excited!!!! Please mark your calendars! Check out the http://www.artforprogress.com under "Upcoming Events" for when & where, and also for more upcoming events they have too.

the January campaign poster below - :) LOL!

hello my people!

I submitted a slideshow video from a photo series called "SPLIT" that I started some time ago. I've submitted it to an organization called Art For Progress, for their annual Clash of the Artists event. If you've been to my website or my channel on YouTube (www.youtube.com/SeBiArtPhotography) you may have already seen my video. The image below is the thumbnail that you'll see on the site.

The link is http://www.artforprogress.org/contest_PARTICIPANTSPAGE.php. The video can be found in the "Creative" category located in the drop down menu on the page. Clicking on the photo will allow you to view the video in full – or – if you've seen it already you can just click on the VOTE button beside my name! Online Voting Ends on Feb 20th!

Thanks so much for your support!



4 COMMENTS FOR THIS ENTRY


GermaicanLady

Aaahhh, Berette! You WON!!! I am so happy and excited for you! You deserve it, girl! Thumbs up and have a great time for the both of us cos I will definitely not make it... Congratulations!!! Hugs and kisses... :-)

Posted by GermaicanLady on Thursday, February 21, 2008 - 21:16
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MaryContrary™©

YAYYY!! Sorry for the dorky cheer, but hell... you know me...

This is AWESOME! I can't wait to go see the exhibition!! I enjoy excitement vicariously through you... CONGRATS!!

Posted by MaryContrary™© on Friday, February 22, 2008 - 16:32
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Jamie B

Hey just wanted to drop by and say congeratulations.... I love your photos! X

Posted by Jamie B on Saturday, February 23, 2008 - 15:34
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Sawandi

Hey!!!!!
i know i'm late, but....
Big big big big BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! congrats

wow

Posted by Sawandi on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 12:10
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PHOTO Contests: Embarking on a Whole New, Frightening Thing

It is said by some that the only way to know if you’re good enough, or to know if you truly want to be good enough, is to put yourself to the test. I’ll rephrase that here as...throw yourself to the werewolves of judgment, truly the only living things that will not spare you tears by placating your greatest fears. And thank God!

So, there it is, I’m taking the advice of a photographer I met in London a couple of months ago, who advised that the best and most affordable way to keep learning and improving in my craft, is to enter photo competitions. Brilliant, scary, and absolutely necessary plan!

Adding to this challenge is the shameless solicitation of support from others in this - a particularly difficult exercise for me that often leaves me feeling full of shame. But I’m learning to let go of such nonsense. Why should it be shameful to ask for help or support in something that you pursue in earnest and with love?!! So there you have it - I shamelessly appeal to whomever is reading this to support me!!

Below is a link of the current competition I’m in - you can find me in the “Creative” Section. Online voting ends Feb 20th, 2008 - and I’m so excited to report that I am currently in the lead!!!

It is said by some that the only way to know if you’re good enough, or to know if you truly want to be good enough, is to put yourself to the test. I’ll rephrase that here as...throw yourself to the werewolves of judgment, truly the only living things that will not spare you tears by placating your greatest fears. And thank God!

So, there it is, I’m taking the advice of a photographer I met in London a couple of months ago, who advised that the best and most affordable way to keep learning and improving in my craft, is to enter photo competitions. Brilliant, scary, and absolutely necessary plan!

Adding to this challenge is the shameless solicitation of support from others in this - a particularly difficult exercise for me that often leaves me feeling full of shame. But I’m learning to let go of such nonsense. Why should it be shameful to ask for help or support in something that you pursue in earnest and with love?!! So there you have it - I shamelessly appeal to whomever is reading this to support me!!

Below is a link of the current competition I’m in - you can find me in the “Creative” Section. Online voting ends Feb 20th, 2008 - and I’m so excited to report that I am currently in the lead!!!

Year in Review with Starting list for 2008

If there's one thing I have to admit I'm not very good at, is keeping my friends, family, or even myself updated on what the heck is truly going on in my life. I tend to get overwhelmed with planning, with my dreams, and with living which generally breeds more stress than satisfaction. And frankly, I'm shit scared of truly utilizing this or any of the other networking/self promoting sites to their fullest - always stopping VERY short of publicly announcing my triumphs and trials because I figure no one will or should care.

This is quite hypocritical of me - as I have so many who do care, and I do need to share the stuff of my life or WTF is the point?? In recognizing and admitting this shortcoming, I also see how it leaves little room for real gratitude - so I must start there - by listing my to-do list of the year, then show how I plowed through it, and state what I feel so thankful for and so good about having accomplished this year, even if some of those accomplishments are somewhat, I don't know, humble or in some cases even corny or embarrassing. LOL!

I'm still not famous, I still have yet to have the cashflow I KNOW I deserve, LOL, and I haven't traveled to enough to inspire envy in others - but I've LIVEd HARD this year and I've LEARNed so much more than can immediately be applied, and I'm FILLed with supreme gratitude and respect for the power of POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS!! Ha! So here it is folks - My 2007:

1) Redo website: CHECK!

Although I haven't updated it in months now, at least I managed to redesign and organize it earlier this year. haha!

And if you haven't had a chance to check it in 2007 - it's not too late! Please holla at me with suggestions for the next update so I don't redesign it in a vacuum - lol! Go To SeBiArt

2) Go back to Modern Dance: CHECK! Well sort of...

I seriously can't believe I've gone a whole year basically not living in a dance studio - BUT at least I did two shows which keeps me feeling like I can still say I'm a dancer, and I now have Aaron Davis Music Hall Theater on my resume! YEAH!!!!! Here's my performer website (needs updating too hahaha!) GO TO MY other profile

3) Do some modeling for kicks: CHECK!

This was my first career a long time ago, and on my pilgrimage into my past this year - I decided to revisit it for fun - and surprising to me I got work strutting runways in a ton of shows for some really cool indie designers. Fun and affirming to an old bag like me - Hahahaha! And hey, I made some cash on the side and scored some cools threads!!! lol! Best of all - it was quite the crafty way to find designers and stylists to work with for my photography projects - SCORE!!!!

4) Check in on my Mom in her first year of mourning: CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!

-Went to London with her for the holidays since the first Christmas without dad would be too hard at home.


-Traveled home to Jamaica 4 times this year to visit her.

-Celebrated her birthday with her in Florida.


-Went to DC with her to visit family and take some time out.


-Just had the most AWESOME time with her in Costa Rica - visited her while she was on assignment there. FELL in LOVVVVVEEE with that country...Wow!



-Started sorting through stuff and helping her to fix up the house...ongoing... When you're an only child (her only child - got siblings from my late Dad's previous marriages) I think the pressure is a little tougher on you - no one to share to obligatory load with, you know...

5) Organize my Photography career and GET HELP!!: CHECK! But still need help - LOL!!

Through the support of dear friends I got help securing summer interns to refocus my admin responsibilities so I could have more time to just be an artist. :) I was so grateful for that time, and I learned so much about what to do and not to do - most of which needs to be implemented NEXT year! hahaha!

6) Shoot more, get work published and exhibited, sell more prints: CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!

Since the start of 2007 I've fired off my shutter over 8000 times! Yes believe it!!! And yes, I'm so overwhelmed by that fact that my myspace page, website, and youtube accounts have yet to be updated with a fraction of my finals from my new images. Speaking of finals - I've yet select even fraction of finals from my shoots! YIKES! Pain, PAIN!!! Clearly first on the to do list for 2008! Sigh...

I donated pieces to two shows two nationally recognized contemporary art spaces: Real Art Ways in CT and this month at Artists Space in SoHo, NYC - where my pieces sold! Yippeee!!

Got published in Skywritings and JamRock Mag. NEED MORE!!! lmao

Sold a fair number of prints - which was really a blessing and affirmation of what I'm doing - BUT, must sell a LARGE number of prints NEXT year honey!!! hehehehe!

7) Organize photos, update portfolio, solicit job assignments, enter photo competitions, and get representation: SIGH....

Yeah - see above...2008 BABY!!!! But wait - it's still 2007, and I'm just starting to submit some images before the year is out! Starting with VH1's - THE SHOT - I'll be asking y'all for you votes - so stay posted!! YEAH!!!!! CHECK!!!

In fact how about now - please visit www.theshotspot.com look for my profile under SeBiArt and vote for me PLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ - I need votes just to even have my photos viewed by the judges!

8) Reorganize finances - save save save, and Jesus, start a plan to secure some idea of financial freedom!!!! : CHEEEECCCCCCKKKKKKK!!

I did it. I busted my ass this year - and at a couple of junctures, at the total risk of my health (mental and physical! - ended up in hospital with a 104 fever and an infected leg on the verge of amputation!!! Long story - with a VERY good ending, and a BIG and obvious lesson learned - HEALTH FIRST PEOPLE!!) My financial strains have been reorganized into a manageable reality I haven't enjoyed in YEARS! And if I keep this going - I will be free! Thank you universe!!!!!!

9) START TRAVELING FOR MYSELF AGAIN: CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!

See 4 - plus, I was blessed enough to jump over to London in the best month for the arts - in October, where I met some real cool cats, went to a ton of fairs and galleries, took in a couple shows, and pretty much walked all over London for a week just exploring it in a most personal way like I'd never done before. Seriously, I got shin splints and my achilles was shot to shit by the time I left! LOL!





On that trip I was inspired with such gratitude, and my memory came back to me - really. I spent so much time visiting family and old friends, going back to some serious roots while planting new ones. I visited my dad's old chambers in Grays INN and was filled with awe and admiration for all he accomplished in his life. The whole trip was too incredible to express. I'm actually thinking of moving over there...more on that another day...

10) Quit Smoking: SHIT, puff, exhale..., well, the desire is stronger than ever so it's gonna happen - soon! I mean, how long have I had that grave site pic on my profile now???!!!! Puff...exhale...

11) Stop fucking with my hair!!! CHECK DAMMIT CHECK!!

Over the course of this year my deepest processes were manifested through the tumultuous relationship I developed with my hair - starting the year off with a big ass head of hair and ending it with none, and now hiding out and growing it back in my old guise of my Amazon braids. lol! And you know - I love my braids - I'm happy to have them again - they're me! Had I been updating my photos y'all would have seen this journey. I had to hide the scissors from myself folks, seriously!

12)Get back in touch and strengthen old bonds: CHECK, BiG CHeck, MOST Important CHECK!!!!

What is any accomplishment, positive change, or blessing in your life without your peeps! The older I get the more I need my people, my witnesses, my sanity, my support - and frankly in this need is a humility that allows me to shed the reclusive shroud and come out and admit this.

I'm really thankful and happy to be able to say that I have secured consistent communications with SO MANY people this year - which is no easy feat. My dearest friends and family are LITERALLY spread out all over the world on four continents!!! It takes real commitment and love to keep it together, and there's been a lot of that this year - and I pray it stays that way. And you know what - we did it with phone calls, emails, letters, and visits! So old fashioned!! hahaha!! And I love it!

I Love you my dears - and I can hardly wait to continue growing with you in the new year!

I leave you with this first goal for the new year:

1) UPLOAD NEW FRIGGIN IMAGES ALREADY!!!!!!! lol!!!!

...list to be ctd...

3 COMMENTS FOR THIS ENTRY:


WarriorPrincess-Yxia

where?when? and how do I start??? To say I love your blog is such an embarrassing understatement...sigh, I think Im just gonna go for it and yap like i did earlier as I wrote my 2008 blog, with no planning or structure, becuz otherwise, it would've been too overwhelming and I wouldn't have written anything at all!!!

Your Mom: can I punch her in the neck?? She is adorableeeeeeee!!! I mean, look at that picture right there!!!!! How did you manage to spend so much time with her and she's still alive??? LMAO.
So much Scoopy!!! Im beyond proud of you; wow!!! Its amazing how much you accomplished this year! It's a totally different person from 3 years ago, for sure!

The Costa Rica trip took my breath away.Thank you for sharing that with us as well. What glory to experience on time off, and not during a gig and a 2 day trip,lol, as I often have to do.

Your entire intro was like looking directly inside my own brain because I feel you, i feel you, i feel you. Financial freedom???? what's dat?? LOL. no seriously!!!! Sooooo glad you mentioned it , because aside from the people who KNOW me personally, and other people in the industry doing what I do, NOONE knows how UN-glamorous this life is! If you're a stranger and you take a tour of my myspace photo gallery, you'd think, "ooh, she's got it made!!! She's travelled all over the world, worked with all the Big Ones of the Hip HOP music industry, she's got her own accessory company AND she must be selling them artworks like hotcakes!!hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Isn't it hilarious sometimes? Becuz we both know that is NOT the case! So i looooove that I have dear friends like yourself to share the brutal reality with and that indeed, when the day of "Financial Freedom" comes around, you Know we 'GON' party like ITS 1999!!!!!!! wooooooo hoooooooo!!

Thank you, thank you for reading mine and for posting this. I have a whole hell of alot more to say but I think you get the gist from this extended note. Yes, i too, hated myspace, in fact, all my closest friends did, including yourself, but as you mentioned ,its like, if we're goin to do it, WTF@ck! we might as well get the most out of it while exposing ourselves so vulnerably to the rest of the world. In fact, thats how I ended up posting my list today!!! I was just home chillin', thinking, introspecting as usual and thought: sigh, wonder what 2008 is gonna bring". and then like a lil lit lightbulb hanging over my head, it occurred to me,"Hmm, what if I write down what I WANT 2008 to be about!!" and on top of that, let me have the guts to share it with the rest of myspace friends, because I know sooner or later "these b@st@rds" are gonna keep reminding me of what I was set out to do, and I'll have no choice but to do it!!! LMAOOOOOOO!!! Crap!

I love you and I'll love to join you in your journey. I know we Always mention we'll do something together, but believe me, its gonna come and its going to be so organic and fabulous, that we're going to laugh about it when its in front of our faces.

Blessed~
Yxia

Posted by WarriorPrincess-Yxia on Thursday, December 27, 2007 - 22:46
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justin lynch

Nuff big up, you have a lot to be proud of this year. My new year's resolutions are always only half-formed as of January 1 and have reverted to nothingness by January 10. Congrats on keeping them around for a whole year. You have inspired me to do the same!!!!!

Posted by justin lynch on Thursday, December 27, 2007 - 22:47
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fflood

WOW WOW and WOW!! so glad that you pointed me to your blog, what a beautiful update of your journey over the past year!! i salute your open-ness and determination, its such a gift to read this, see you, see you your art (had to wait for the bikini pic of you to circle back round again, but luckily i had many very nice images to contemplate till that came back around :), and now i am even more super amped to see you in yaad!! woo hoo!!!

by the way, the link to "The Shot" you put on my page nah werk... mi ago look fi eet meself zeen? love you!! brave beautiful soul!! mmmwah!!

lovefflood,
richard

Posted by fflood on Saturday, December 29, 2007 - 18:42
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Song for a Spiritual Supper

On the Subway tonight, on my way home two panhandlers with harmonizing skillZ to rival the Temptations came into my car bopping to some blues and makin beats with their walking sticks.

You see this kinda show everyday and almost everywhere in New York and you tire of it quickly, regardless of the quality of talent, and especially at the end of a long day. Unfortunately such ubiquitous sights desensitize most of us city dwellers, and we find ourselves quick to jack up the volume on the headphones to block out their effort to entertain us for food money. Some of us (and yes I've done it!) will even close our eyes so as not to be shamed by their direct stare when we don't reach into our purses or pockets to donate to the cause. But you know, once in a while, we get dragged out of our self-centered intolerant existence and see the PEOPLE in front of us.

These two men didn't preach or recite the 'obligatory' words of gratitude and blessings for the night for the extra nod of approval, no; they actually sang from their hearts with faces contorted with feeling and stretched wide with jubilance when they hit a sweet note. They swayed and swam INto the melodies and blocked out the riders; and so, in a way, the show was not really for us - they sang for themselves, they sang for a spiritual supper that only they could provide for themselves.

As they made their way onwards, someone pulled out a dollar as if to remind them that they forgot to pass the hat around. So they did. And we gave. And the toothless one said "The ones who judge don't matter, for the ones who matter would not judge." He winked, the other smiled, and then they hummed and bopped outta the car. He's right, and I'm glad I contributed something to their supper, and in that I got mineZ too!


1 COMMENT FOR THIS ENTRY


Catherine

I really enjoyed reading this!

Posted by Catherine on Monday, August 11, 2008 - 22:33
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I'm a Genius!!! LOL

So my friend Justin posted this in his blog - hilarious I thought - and in a competitive spirit I decided to give it a go. I beat him by a measly two points - but it's something!!! It's too bad all this knowledge is going to waste these dayZ - LOL!!! Yes, I know this is stupid - but I have some time on my handZ!!!

You have a Sexual IQ of 144
When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends.
'What is your Sexual IQ?' at QuizUniverse.com

2 COMMENTS FOR THIS ENTRY


GOD of THUNDER/Mark Harris


And this whole time, I've been paying the Honda dealer $75 for a rim-job every 6 months...

Posted by GOD OF THUNDER on Friday, November 16, 2007 - 22:41
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MaryContrary™©

I taught you everything you know. Not firsthand knowledge, of course. you just read my diary...

Posted by MaryContrary™© on Friday, November 16, 2007 - 22:43
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